.:: By John B Grimes
During a recent conversation, a woman and I were reflecting on someone who had recently passed away—a person who had faced and overcome remarkable challenges in life. As she shared his story, she listed the obstacles he’d endured: challenges that included sight loss, something I can relate to. She spoke with admiration about his grace, his strength, and the incredible journey he had lived. As she searched for the perfect word to summarize his ability to rise above adversity, I interjected: “It sounds exactly like resilience.”
The word seemed to fit perfectly. But as I reflected further, I added, “It doesn’t feel like resilience when you’re going through it. At least in my experience, it didn’t. It was just hard.”
Resilience, as most people perceive it, is often defined in hindsight. It’s only after you’ve passed through the fire—when you’re far enough away to see the full picture—that resilience becomes part of the narrative. In the moment, there’s no banner proclaiming, *Look at me, I’m resilient.* It’s just putting one foot in front of the other, sometimes without even knowing if you’ll make it.
When I think about resilience, I think about the tremendous ability we as humans have to push through hard times, even when they feel impossible. History offers us countless examples of people who have risen to challenges far greater than their resources should have allowed. Take the story of Helen Keller, who lost her sight and hearing at an early age and went on to inspire millions with her advocacy for disability rights. Or the perseverance of the pioneers who endured relentless hardship to settle and build lives in the face of extreme adversity. These examples remind us that resilience is deeply ingrained in the human spirit.
But resilience, at its core, isn’t glamorous. It’s messy. Often, it’s about survival. In my own life, I think about my neurogenic bladder, a lasting consequence of meningitis. It’s not something that will change; it’s a permanent reality I live with. My choice, then, is stark: either resist the inevitable or adapt. From the outside, some people might call my ability to manage it resilient. But from my perspective, it’s an obvious choice. It’s just living with what I’ve got.
The truth is, reality has a way of stripping us down to the essentials. When life gives you a challenge, you don’t always have the luxury of avoiding it. Tragedy doesn’t ask for permission. It simply demands that you figure out how to keep going. The moments that look like resilience from the outside often feel like pure survival from within.
So, what is resilience? It’s not a magic trait or a superhuman ability. It’s simply the courage to face what’s in front of you, even when it feels insurmountable. It’s adapting, learning, just doing the next right thing, and eventually realizing that you’ve come further than you thought possible. And while it might not feel like resilience in the moment, when you look back, you might just see it for what it truly was: strength, growth, and the power to keep moving forward.
