From Motocross Mayhem to Hero Mindset: Kevin Rempel’s Unstoppable Journey

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Music.

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Welcome to destiny is debatable a podcast and movement that will encourage you

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to build your life into the one you want,

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here's your host a guy who knows possibility is always a possibility john grimes,

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hey kevin thanks for joining the destiny is debatable

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podcast my pleasure stoked to

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be here john great yeah stoked you are um man

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you're a wild man kevin i was a little

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more chill these days but i think you probably still are at least compared to

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some and in particular compared to me you have got quite a story and as a former

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motocross guy i think i'm saying that right you i think there's a lot of things

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that we can both relate to and kind of things that have happened in our own lives.

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So I'm stoked to be talking to you about that. But before we do that,

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I have some contractually obligated questions that I have to ask you that the

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listeners demand to kind of get to know you a little bit. So can you hang in

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there for a couple questions?

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You got it. Let's do it. All right. What is your favorite band or type of music?

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Oh, that's interesting because I haven't been asked that question in ages.

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It really depends, I think, on what I'm doing. I mean, punk rock was definitely

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my jam when I was riding motocross and then hip-hop rap for sure,

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like for workouts to this day still would be something I love.

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We can get into it later if you want. I recently have been going back to church,

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got God back in my life and worship music is something that I really dig lately

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too. There's a lot of like killer upbeat songs.

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So just depends on like what I'm doing, if I'm like doing an activity or a workout or just day to day.

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Those would be the top three. Awesome. Yeah. Okay.

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What about a reader? Are you a reader?

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I definitely do though. I'm guilty of not reading much lately,

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but I love reading and I'm proud of my bookshelf.

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Okay. All right. So on your bookshelf, what's your favorite book or maybe author

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or maybe type of book you like to read?

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I like self-development books. I'll give you my top two or three.

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Number one is a book called Trust by Ilana Van Zandt.

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She's an advisor for Oprah. She's got a wicked story.

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But just learning about building the trust within yourself, that's hands down

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one of my top three books in my life.

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A second top three book of my life. Actually, I got all top three here.

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So the second is the book titled Resilience by Eric Gretchen,

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uh former navy um seal and

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uh him and his buddy return to real life and civilian life

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they have a hard time or one has a hard time it's a killer book

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and um the other oh my god why is this someone you know um it's okay i put you

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on the spot no problem no it's um oh yeah and the third book is titled working

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with the law by raymond hollywell and it's about universal laws energy energy, uh, mindset, spirit.

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And it's just those, those three books, trust, resilience, and working with the law. Top three.

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I got to tell you, not, not too many people have given me three examples and

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not too many people have, you know, reached to their bookshelf to grab them.

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That's pretty impressive.

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So I'd say you're a, you're a, you're a bonafide reader, but you probably go

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in there seasons of that. Sure. That happens.

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Yeah. I, I, oh my gosh.

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I honestly, Honestly, reading, I don't even know what to compare it to in terms

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of how it feeds my soul to just take some information.

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And even if it's rereading it, like when you read something a second time or

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a third time at a different period in your life, it can land differently.

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I think reading is such a powerful and just joyful thing to do. At least it is in my life.

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I agree. Now, you're a speaker. You've been on a lot of stages.

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You've written a lot of stuff, blog posts, articles, and things.

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So there's a lot of things that people know about you out there,

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I'm sure, of it, but what is something that most people don't know about you?

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What is something that people don't know about me?

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I don't know, because I'm a pretty open book. That's why I think I'm struggling.

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Like, I put a lot about my life online. What's your favorite color, maybe?

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My girlfriend asked me that a couple days ago, and I can't even give just one.

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I mean, I'm black, white, blue, or red.

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I mean, it's a roll of the dice. It depends on where they're at.

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Like, clothing versus a vehicle.

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My truck's red, but I wear black and white clothing probably more than colorful clothing.

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Okay. What's your girlfriend's favorite color?

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I haven't actually i'm gonna i'm gonna scratch that because i'm gonna get you

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i'm gonna get you in trouble here so never mind let's stop with the girlfriend questions.

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Well something that's uh i can share that i don't like post about per se but

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my girlfriend jess uh we like she has two beautiful children um they're four

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and six years old and uh that's a super joyful part of my life that's not currently

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really on social media but um something that i'm totally,

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happy to share and love having in my life.

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It's such a joy to be a male figure, role model, and support life and people

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like a family beyond yourself.

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That's something that's new to me that I'm really grateful for.

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Yeah. Well, that's your answer. That's a good answer. See, just took a minute to get to it.

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Okay, if you could be born any time, past or future, in any place in the world, when and where?

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Not that I've ever really thought about that. When people ask the question,

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like, if you could meet anybody alive or dead, I'd want to meet Tupac.

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So, I don't know if I were to be born in a different era where maybe I was a

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bit older as Tupac was on the rise.

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Like, I didn't really hear or learn about Tupac until after he'd already passed.

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But I think it'd be pretty would have been pretty awesome to

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like been an older as

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in a teenager in my teenage years when Tupac

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was kind of like popping off and go see him perform live

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and if I could sit down and just yeah just listen

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to anything he had to say that'd be pretty cool cool now what is

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it about Tupac uh just when I

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was like yeah younger teenage life going

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through stuff uh his music was extremely influential

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on for me uh and

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to this day i mean people still talk about him um eminem

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is another one though too it's like you know he's a lot like to

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meet somebody alive versus tupac's past um yeah i don't listen to eminem as

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much anymore but just played such a significant role in you know kind of finding

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who you are or having that resilience or just identifying with someone as you're

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growing up. I think music plays such a significant role.

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And so those two guys would be pretty awesome to meet.

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Or yeah, if I could have grown up during the Tupac era, a little bit older to experience it. Okay.

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And finally, speaking of the teenage years that you just referenced,

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what advice would you give your 19 year old self?

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And do you think he would listen?

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The follow-up to your question there is, I think important.

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Would that person listen? because I actually received the advice when I was

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younger that I would probably give, which is just to be patient.

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Like you have so much time and it's hard to understand that because when you're

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younger, you don't have the perspective of time.

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But now like I'm 41 years old today and you know, like, oh my gosh,

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like seven days blows by, let alone months, an entire year can blow by in the blink of an eye.

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And, but you can also, you also can look back in your life now and you know,

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in your thirties into your 40s and see that, oh my God, in a decade,

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you can accomplish a lot of stuff.

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So at the age of 20, for example, or like you feel like you want to get on with

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life and you're running out of time, but from 20 to 30 years old,

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in 10 years, you can do a lot of stuff.

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So it feels like life's not moving fast enough or you want it to happen faster,

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but just be impatient. That's what I would think about.

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That's all the hard-hitting questions, Kevin. You made it. Cool. Success.

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Speaking of teenage and 19, I asked that question because my life change happened at 19.

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And we both had a big change in our lives. You were, I think, 23 when that happened.

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But I think you can relate to this, a motocross guy that's jumping and doing stuff.

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I felt like I was 10 feet tall and bulletproof. Like, you know,

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I didn't have a care in the world. Everything was super trivial.

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I was on, everything was great, you know, until it wasn't, right?

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So I kind of want to get into that story to kind of set the table on what happened with you.

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Yeah. Just like, as you mentioned, same age, 19 years old and my life turned

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around in the blink of an eye.

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At 19, me and my dad, we were out deer hunting, building a tree stand.

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And my dad was up in the tree when one of the branches he was standing on broke

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and he fell two stories to the ground right in front of my own eyes.

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As he was laying on there on the ground, gasping for air, I knew something was up.

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So I grabbed the keys out of his coat pocket and ran and called 911,

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which is our emergency service here.

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Take him to the hospital, x-rays taken, surgery, and he's deemed a complete

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paraplegic, which meant that he had broken his back in the fall and severed his spinal cord,

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which meant that there was no chance of him really ever making a recovery again

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to get back on his feet walking.

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And my dad was just eight months from retirement. He was He was 52 years old. I sometimes forget.

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But yeah, my dad was like eight months from retirement. And all of a sudden,

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he felt like, yeah, his life was taken away from him.

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And my life and our family's life changed forever.

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Yeah. So what is that like witness? Was it just the two of you there?

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Yep. We were about a kilometer or so. I don't know. That would be 0.6 miles.

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Yeah. Thank you. Thank you.

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Back into the real-time conversion there. Yeah.

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Man, you know, because the thing is, at least for me, my dad is, is my hero.

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When I go through the things in my life now as a parent myself,

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I go through that with the frame of reference of what my kids think of me as their, their father.

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I know because I felt that way about my father and And like to see my father

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in that type of situation, that's got to be, at least for me,

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would be super difficult.

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I mean, because dads don't fall. Dads don't hurt themselves.

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Dads take care of everything. Dad's always there.

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Dad this, dad that. I mean, just the list goes on and on of what dads do.

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And to not have dad to be able to do that has got to be difficult.

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I've certainly met many people and have many friends where their dad was or

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is their hero or superhero.

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My relationship with my dad growing up, I would say it was good.

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My dad was a great dad. I know that he did the best he could with what he had and what he knew.

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When I was younger, he got me into stick and ball sports. But at the age of

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10, I started getting interested in motocross.

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And through my teenage years, that was my passion. So when my dad got hurt,

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we'd actually only about maybe six months prior started to kind of like rekindle

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a relationship is the way I would describe it.

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So I'm sorry to say my dad wasn't exactly my hero.

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I love my dad. I know my dad loved me, but it was definitely the back to the,

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like the second part of your question. Yeah, it was absolutely hard.

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I mean, it completely disrupted our family and our community as well.

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My dad worked for the town, like the municipality that we lived in.

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So there was a ton of people that knew who my dad was and when the accident

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happened and he had a big social circle of friends too. So yeah, it was very hard.

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It wasn't hard for the reason that my dad was my hero. it was just hard that

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I didn't really have a good relationship or like the, the relationship I wanted with my dad.

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I felt like I was developing it. And then I felt like myself that was taken away.

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And after dad got hurt, there was like a lot of arguing and fighting in the

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household. And that's one of many things that made it very difficult.

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Yeah. You have sibling or two.

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Yeah. My sister, she's two years younger than I am.

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And we were all like, we were the four of us for living at home,

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but when dad got hurt, my sister was, she was out of the house spending most

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of her time over at her boyfriend's place.

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So I just felt like it was me and mom trying to deal with it.

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And yeah, it was very tough.

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I can imagine. And a few years later, you get a little bit more into motocross.

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Do I have my timeline right there? Yeah.

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Despite dad's accident, like I had done some racing, motocross racing prior to dad being hurt.

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But around that same time was when the X Games was starting to become a thing.

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Like we're talking 1998, 1999.

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And I forget if it was 98 or 99 was the first time

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that freestyle motocross was introduced into the x games and it

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just completely exploded like it took over the x games in

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the action sports world so you're all over that

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yeah like yeah 1999 i think

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was that anyways yeah i i just consumed it

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lived it breathed it everything so freestyle became my

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passion doing the stunts the tricks that you see on tv superman c

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grabs cliffhangers all that stuff and what's the

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hardest one to do now this is on a bike and motorized bike yeah

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yeah okay uh what's the hardest i mean there's progression

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like there's different levels progression and at the time

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i was just like trying to learn my

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own bag of tricks so the basics knock

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knock can can superman c grab cliffhanger those are a few common basic moves

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back in the day those were bigger moves like a cliffhanger where you're basically

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doing a handstand in the air hanging off the handlebars by your tippy toes like

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that was my favorite and And that was my biggest trick at the time.

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Okay. So explain that one again.

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So when you take off, if you just picture even a bicycle, if you're just riding

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a bicycle, like you got your hands on the handlebars and you're kind of in a

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squatting position, your feet are on the pedals or the pegs of the motorcycle.

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When you take off, you're,

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You first bring your toes up to the handlebars to hook them underneath.

218
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And then as in the same fluid motion, you're letting your body drift away from

219
00:14:57,203 --> 00:15:01,883
the motorcycle as you're reaching the peak or the apex of the jump.

220
00:15:02,023 --> 00:15:06,203
And you allow your body to do a full handstand or like standing straight up

221
00:15:06,203 --> 00:15:10,423
in the air with your legs straight and your arms straight above you as if you're

222
00:15:10,423 --> 00:15:11,343
like trying to touch the sky.

223
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And the only thing that's holding you to the motorcycle is your toes hooked

224
00:15:15,223 --> 00:15:19,823
under the handlebars of your, by your feet. Jeez, man. Oh man.

225
00:15:20,363 --> 00:15:26,243
No, thanks. So you, you could do that pretty well, huh? I was getting decent

226
00:15:26,243 --> 00:15:28,323
doing that at the time. Yeah.

227
00:15:29,223 --> 00:15:33,623
So how high in the air are you for something like that? The jumps I was practicing

228
00:15:33,623 --> 00:15:36,423
on the gap was 75 to 95 feet.

229
00:15:36,483 --> 00:15:38,523
You're 20 to 30 feet high, roughly.

230
00:15:39,103 --> 00:15:41,923
Well the gap meeting the in between the two ramps

231
00:15:41,923 --> 00:15:45,903
take off to the landing yeah wow man and

232
00:15:45,903 --> 00:15:48,663
how fast you get going when you when you hit the hit the ramp

233
00:15:48,663 --> 00:15:53,763
in freestyle like you don't chat you don't speak about like miles per hour or

234
00:15:53,763 --> 00:15:57,903
anything like that you just say like second gear or third gear so those jumps

235
00:15:57,903 --> 00:16:03,803
for me were like third gear jumps it's pretty fast is that right yeah i'm sorry

236
00:16:03,803 --> 00:16:06,103
i'm I'm hesitating because there's nuances to it.

237
00:16:06,283 --> 00:16:12,083
You can do a jump that's maybe like a 40-foot gap, but you approach really slowly,

238
00:16:12,263 --> 00:16:14,943
and then you just accelerate at the last minute because you get a lot of pop

239
00:16:14,943 --> 00:16:16,683
in the ramp, so it shoots you really high.

240
00:16:17,063 --> 00:16:20,723
And the airtime is what allows you to pull the trick.

241
00:16:20,843 --> 00:16:25,563
So you can have a shorter gap and go super high and then come back down,

242
00:16:25,683 --> 00:16:30,223
or you can have a longer gap that you may not go as high, but you still have

243
00:16:30,223 --> 00:16:32,363
a decent amount of hang time in the air.

244
00:16:34,546 --> 00:16:37,486
So it depends yeah no thanks for me but

245
00:16:37,486 --> 00:16:40,146
it's super that you guys do that kind of stuff yeah that's how

246
00:16:40,146 --> 00:16:43,426
it sounds pretty awesome but i don't think i'd be able to i don't think i'd

247
00:16:43,426 --> 00:16:47,146
be able to even get close to something like that that's crazy okay so and the

248
00:16:47,146 --> 00:16:50,626
good news and bad news is a lot of these things are are caught on film or people

249
00:16:50,626 --> 00:16:54,326
are taping them and i guess in this age we didn't have cell phones at the ready

250
00:16:54,326 --> 00:16:58,746
but you yeah definitely pre-self well cell phones were

251
00:16:58,826 --> 00:17:02,606
just getting going but like

252
00:17:02,606 --> 00:17:05,586
there was no video recording you could

253
00:17:05,586 --> 00:17:08,526
take a photo on a cell phone there's no way that it would have like

254
00:17:08,526 --> 00:17:14,766
caught anything good from an action movement perspective digital cameras were

255
00:17:14,766 --> 00:17:22,166
just emerging or you probably had like a two gigabyte memory card yeah so we

256
00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:27,346
my photo album is literally a photo physical photo album of four by six printed

257
00:17:27,426 --> 00:17:30,546
photos of when I wrote and you would take a photo and

258
00:17:30,546 --> 00:17:33,866
then you'd have to like hope that it was timed properly and you'd

259
00:17:33,866 --> 00:17:37,226
go get it developed at the grocery store and sit in the parking lot for one

260
00:17:37,226 --> 00:17:42,326
or two hours because you paid for accelerated like printing and then you get

261
00:17:42,326 --> 00:17:45,666
them all and you open them up and hope and then you'd be all pumped if you saw

262
00:17:45,666 --> 00:17:49,786
the one that would like look good yeah so you had to wait like days or what

263
00:17:49,786 --> 00:17:53,846
not not an instant uh recall on your iPhone phone as to what the photo is.

264
00:17:54,126 --> 00:17:59,206
So anybody under the age of, what, like 30 probably has no idea what any of

265
00:17:59,206 --> 00:18:02,946
that even means as far as the film in the grocery store. Crazy.

266
00:18:03,606 --> 00:18:06,966
Let's not date ourselves here because I'm kind of the same way.

267
00:18:07,686 --> 00:18:10,726
So, all right. So you're doing motocross. That's going.

268
00:18:11,186 --> 00:18:17,426
You're on the upward trend there. You're arcing good and things are going. Yeah.

269
00:18:18,189 --> 00:18:22,069
Was pursuing my dream of riding putting on shows and

270
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was looking to get hired i got one

271
00:18:25,029 --> 00:18:28,029
show under my belt but people weren't

272
00:18:28,029 --> 00:18:30,849
really taking me on i ended up starting my own business and then

273
00:18:30,849 --> 00:18:33,629
at my second show i crashed i ended up

274
00:18:33,629 --> 00:18:36,469
hitting the jump first jump of the day i wasn't

275
00:18:36,469 --> 00:18:40,449
mentally focused because i was too worried about the other riders the crowd

276
00:18:40,449 --> 00:18:45,229
it's just making me nervous and the ramps are a bit crooked the wind's blowing

277
00:18:45,229 --> 00:18:48,929
and i was too scared to speak up and say anything i was afraid of looking like

278
00:18:48,929 --> 00:18:53,229
a wuss so i just hurried up and hit the jump i rushed my warm-up and as soon

279
00:18:53,229 --> 00:18:56,429
as i took off it kind of kicked me the wrong way in the air like my rear.

280
00:18:56,729 --> 00:19:00,889
End of my motorcycle was coming up too high and made a split second decision

281
00:19:00,889 --> 00:19:04,729
i either had to decide to stay on or jump off the bike i thought if i stayed

282
00:19:04,729 --> 00:19:08,449
on i'd break my neck so if i jump off i break my legs that's actually a better

283
00:19:08,449 --> 00:19:13,269
day that's like literally what happens yeah and in a

284
00:19:13,309 --> 00:19:16,269
split second yeah yeah so ditch

285
00:19:16,269 --> 00:19:19,389
the bike landed without the motorcycle from 75 feet onto

286
00:19:19,389 --> 00:19:22,789
a steel landing ramp and broke my back broke

287
00:19:22,789 --> 00:19:28,529
my back my pelvis my ribs i was instantly paralyzed and after surgery i was

288
00:19:28,529 --> 00:19:32,789
told that i was likely never going to walk again however the fortunate part

289
00:19:32,789 --> 00:19:36,929
was that i did not sever my spinal cord like my dad i had a fracture dislocated

290
00:19:36,929 --> 00:19:40,149
my vertebrae so my spinal cord, it was pulled,

291
00:19:40,309 --> 00:19:44,389
pinched and swollen and a spinal cord injury is like a brain injury.

292
00:19:44,469 --> 00:19:46,869
You don't know what the recovery is going to be until it actually happens.

293
00:19:48,374 --> 00:19:52,774
So I just had to put in the work and I, for the sake of the podcast,

294
00:19:52,874 --> 00:19:56,474
I'm giving the short version, but like it was about six weeks until I wiggled

295
00:19:56,474 --> 00:20:00,194
my first toe, four months in rehab, 10 months in a wheelchair,

296
00:20:00,394 --> 00:20:02,654
two months on canes, walking and riding in a year.

297
00:20:02,894 --> 00:20:07,494
But it was like three to four years to be on my feet all day,

298
00:20:07,534 --> 00:20:09,554
every day, independent, living

299
00:20:09,554 --> 00:20:14,134
that normal quote unquote normal life that we try to get back to. Yeah.

300
00:20:14,794 --> 00:20:17,854
And that's, yeah. So that's tough, obviously.

301
00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:22,874
Were you awake when you landed? I mean, after you landed, I should say,

302
00:20:22,934 --> 00:20:25,414
like you hit and are you aware of what's happening or are you unconscious?

303
00:20:25,974 --> 00:20:32,594
I was conscious and have memory of the entire event up until I was loaded into the ambulance.

304
00:20:32,854 --> 00:20:37,834
So I remember the entire morning. I remember the crash. I remember the paramedics over my head.

305
00:20:38,274 --> 00:20:41,794
I remember getting loaded onto the stretcher. But once I was in the ambulance

306
00:20:41,794 --> 00:20:44,254
on the way to the hospital is kind of where I start to lose memory.

307
00:20:44,254 --> 00:20:47,154
So you you immediately noticed the feeling

308
00:20:47,154 --> 00:20:53,374
of the injury like you can't you can't move anything yeah it was excruciating

309
00:20:53,374 --> 00:20:59,314
pain knife in my back any like breathing alone or any sudden any movement at

310
00:20:59,314 --> 00:21:05,254
all just felt excruciating i was laying on my left side kind of in like the feeble position,

311
00:21:05,834 --> 00:21:10,194
tried to uncross my legs because i could see that i was see how they were lying

312
00:21:10,194 --> 00:21:14,974
and i couldn't and And when I put my hand on my leg to push my leg off and I,

313
00:21:14,994 --> 00:21:18,734
when my hand, I could not feel my leg. I'm like, oh fuck.

314
00:21:18,834 --> 00:21:21,334
I'm like, I'm paralyzed. Yeah. Jeez.

315
00:21:23,357 --> 00:21:26,317
So how much time had elapsed between your injury and your dad's?

316
00:21:27,297 --> 00:21:30,237
Four years, three and a half, four years. Yeah.

317
00:21:31,197 --> 00:21:36,317
So yeah, it was very, very ironic for my mom and my dad. Cause my dad said, don't get in. Don't.

318
00:21:36,597 --> 00:21:39,957
He was afraid of me getting injured like him. Then I did. And my mom now had

319
00:21:39,957 --> 00:21:45,417
both husband and son in wheelchairs, both spinal cord injuries at the exact same time.

320
00:21:46,237 --> 00:21:51,017
So how does mom, what does mom do with that? it's funny because like we talk

321
00:21:51,017 --> 00:21:53,537
about it today and a little bit here and there and,

322
00:21:54,057 --> 00:21:57,557
my mom's answer is she's like i just did what i needed to do but at

323
00:21:57,557 --> 00:22:01,797
the same time like i know that my mom i'm i

324
00:22:01,797 --> 00:22:04,597
know behind the scenes was probably struggling a

325
00:22:04,597 --> 00:22:09,417
lot more than what she showed i believe my mom's tremendously resilient especially

326
00:22:09,417 --> 00:22:13,277
for all she's been through but what i can say for myself like when i was dealing

327
00:22:13,277 --> 00:22:16,797
with my dad like you also kind of just go numb like you You just kind of go

328
00:22:16,797 --> 00:22:20,177
into autopilot and you kind of become numb to all the stuff that's happening.

329
00:22:20,857 --> 00:22:21,977
Just kind of get in a rhythm.

330
00:22:22,837 --> 00:22:26,217
Yeah. Sometimes it's just survival too. I mean, life with a disability,

331
00:22:26,377 --> 00:22:29,097
especially when you first acquire one anyways,

332
00:22:29,437 --> 00:22:32,997
you know, if you, if you were living an able-bodied life and then all of a sudden

333
00:22:32,997 --> 00:22:36,537
something happens like in that, in those early months or early years,

334
00:22:36,577 --> 00:22:40,917
like it can be, it can feel like and be a shit storm and you're just figuring it out.

335
00:22:40,917 --> 00:22:43,897
Like you might just feel like you're in survival mode for a while

336
00:22:43,897 --> 00:22:49,717
until things i the i describe it as like until the dust settles and then you

337
00:22:49,717 --> 00:22:54,577
start to establish like a new baseline because for spinal cord injury you have

338
00:22:54,577 --> 00:22:58,457
the accident so your bowel and bladder's messed up you got muscle spasms you

339
00:22:58,457 --> 00:23:03,357
got pain you got pins and needles you got like as a result you're on a,

340
00:23:03,937 --> 00:23:08,377
garbage pail of medication of all this stuff to take that's creating side effects

341
00:23:08,377 --> 00:23:14,117
then you have of things like mood swings and fatigue and perhaps depression or whatever.

342
00:23:14,277 --> 00:23:20,717
I was on pills for acid reflex and stool softener and narcotics as well for

343
00:23:20,717 --> 00:23:22,637
pain. There's so many things. So,

344
00:23:23,726 --> 00:23:27,086
When you first, again, I'll speak for spinal cord injury life.

345
00:23:27,226 --> 00:23:33,106
It's like when you acquire that injury or your disability, it takes time for

346
00:23:33,106 --> 00:23:35,766
the trauma of your body to settle.

347
00:23:35,926 --> 00:23:39,626
It takes time to establish what medications are working, not working,

348
00:23:39,686 --> 00:23:43,466
and then to wean yourself off of them. It just takes time.

349
00:23:45,006 --> 00:23:49,286
So it's hard for a lot of people because they just want to get better so fast.

350
00:23:49,526 --> 00:23:52,046
And meanwhile, there's all these things that are throwing a wrench into your

351
00:23:52,046 --> 00:23:53,806
recovery, But that is the recovery.

352
00:23:53,946 --> 00:23:57,446
That is the process is just giving it time and space for things to settle down

353
00:23:57,446 --> 00:23:58,326
and then figuring it out.

354
00:23:58,326 --> 00:24:02,426
And all the while you're trying to understand your new life,

355
00:24:02,606 --> 00:24:09,666
your new abilities or limitations or what you should or shouldn't be doing,

356
00:24:09,746 --> 00:24:16,266
which for a guy that's jumping on off of, you know, ramps, it's probably a pretty

357
00:24:16,266 --> 00:24:17,886
hard thing to, you know, settle down,

358
00:24:18,006 --> 00:24:25,266
stop and determine whether, you know, I don't know if you still wanted to even do that stuff or not.

359
00:24:25,266 --> 00:24:28,326
Or if you you curse that because of what happened but

360
00:24:28,326 --> 00:24:33,006
you still have the mentality i would imagine at least you want to have the mentality

361
00:24:33,006 --> 00:24:37,306
at least i did was i got to keep going but there's a lot of things that i have

362
00:24:37,306 --> 00:24:42,286
to figure out and sometimes these drugs and things that you're taking counterbalance

363
00:24:42,286 --> 00:24:46,346
you know they can counteract with each other and they cause this new thing and.

364
00:24:46,986 --> 00:24:51,686
There's just you you mentioned bowel and bladder stuff we certainly have some

365
00:24:51,686 --> 00:24:52,926
common common area you there.

366
00:24:53,106 --> 00:24:58,966
My situation, which I talk about quite often here, is bacterial meningitis,

367
00:24:59,066 --> 00:25:02,586
which affects the lining of the brain and spinal cavity.

368
00:25:02,746 --> 00:25:08,006
So I had some neurological-related challenges as a result, I guess somewhat

369
00:25:08,006 --> 00:25:11,566
similar to a spinal cord injury. It was an infection in my spinal cord.

370
00:25:11,786 --> 00:25:16,386
And it messed up some of those nerves. Those nerves do not fire anymore.

371
00:25:16,886 --> 00:25:23,186
And bladder was one of them. And I didn't realize laying in the hospital bed

372
00:25:23,186 --> 00:25:27,626
after coming out of sleep for better part of a little over a week,

373
00:25:28,326 --> 00:25:30,006
you know, I had to go, I had to go pee, right?

374
00:25:30,966 --> 00:25:35,106
How do I do that? What do you do? What, how do you do that?

375
00:25:35,226 --> 00:25:39,486
Why doesn't, why doesn't this work? And how am I going to make this work? Because I've got to go.

376
00:25:39,606 --> 00:25:42,546
And you know, the thing about the bladder is it does expand,

377
00:25:42,726 --> 00:25:44,946
luckily, but there is a limit to that.

378
00:25:45,166 --> 00:25:51,566
So just these things that you never thought in your wildest dream,

379
00:25:51,646 --> 00:25:57,446
especially at age 19, 20, you know, early in life, these are not things you're used to dealing with.

380
00:25:58,457 --> 00:26:04,077
Yeah, definitely not given that my dad was injured before me that at least gave me, I,

381
00:26:04,177 --> 00:26:10,957
I do consider it an advantage in my journey and recovery because I had already

382
00:26:10,957 --> 00:26:13,817
seen my dad struggle with his bowel and bladder, everything,

383
00:26:13,957 --> 00:26:16,057
the meds adapting to home.

384
00:26:16,177 --> 00:26:19,997
Like my home was already wheelchair accessible, which is very ironic.

385
00:26:20,097 --> 00:26:23,337
And then at the same time I moved home and me, my dad fought so much that I

386
00:26:23,337 --> 00:26:26,577
moved out after six months into an accessible apartment because I couldn't be

387
00:26:26,577 --> 00:26:27,917
around my dad without fighting.

388
00:26:28,457 --> 00:26:35,197
But yeah, I mean, there's so many lessons to share about the experience and

389
00:26:35,197 --> 00:26:38,177
challenges that are relatable for so many people.

390
00:26:38,277 --> 00:26:42,037
And it also doesn't mean that you have to have a disability to feel this experience.

391
00:26:42,197 --> 00:26:46,397
So as an example, if you acquire a disability or something happens to you at

392
00:26:46,397 --> 00:26:48,797
some point in your life, after you've been living an able-bodied life,

393
00:26:49,017 --> 00:26:55,997
one of the biggest challenges is acceptance, often related to an old identity as well.

394
00:26:56,157 --> 00:26:59,157
So your old identity could be anything and everything

395
00:26:59,157 --> 00:27:03,297
from the sports that you played to the social circles that you had to the career

396
00:27:03,297 --> 00:27:07,097
that you were involved in to your relationship whether that person was with

397
00:27:07,097 --> 00:27:09,737
you for a short term or long term whether they want to stick around or they

398
00:27:09,737 --> 00:27:14,417
want to leave whether you have kids or not too and how you view your situation

399
00:27:14,417 --> 00:27:16,817
and what that looks like going forward.

400
00:27:17,357 --> 00:27:21,557
Both my dad and myself those happened suddenly

401
00:27:21,557 --> 00:27:24,397
meaning overnight you lost

402
00:27:24,397 --> 00:27:27,237
your old identity and had to like find a

403
00:27:27,237 --> 00:27:29,957
way now some people i'll give an

404
00:27:29,957 --> 00:27:32,837
example with like you know getting old like old

405
00:27:32,837 --> 00:27:36,597
age like that's a gradual transition that could

406
00:27:36,597 --> 00:27:39,457
that has its own challenges where slowly over time you

407
00:27:39,457 --> 00:27:42,957
lose your ability to do something that you used to do or it can happen overnight

408
00:27:42,957 --> 00:27:46,477
but that's usually a little more acceptable though because people kind of expect

409
00:27:46,477 --> 00:27:49,477
that you know like they've they've seen people get old we kind of we kind of

410
00:27:49,477 --> 00:27:52,997
know that that's eventually going to happen it doesn't mean it's not any more

411
00:27:52,997 --> 00:27:56,897
or less disappointing that when it happens, but you can kind of expect that.

412
00:27:57,357 --> 00:28:00,257
Yeah. So, I mean, in the world of disabilities...

413
00:28:01,869 --> 00:28:06,469
I honestly enjoy helping people, whether they have a disability or not.

414
00:28:06,549 --> 00:28:10,249
I have a coaching group I know we're probably going to touch on called the Hero Tribe.

415
00:28:10,469 --> 00:28:14,009
And I, in that group, have had the pleasure of helping a number of people who

416
00:28:14,009 --> 00:28:17,109
have acquired a disability, mostly spinal cord injuries.

417
00:28:17,469 --> 00:28:21,309
Another is one who lost their arm, became an amputee.

418
00:28:21,549 --> 00:28:25,029
And of course, people just with mental health challenges or going through relationship challenges.

419
00:28:25,029 --> 00:28:31,849
The funny thing is, as a metaphor, if you're going through a separation or a

420
00:28:31,849 --> 00:28:36,129
divorce, you've lived your life one way for so long, perhaps a decade,

421
00:28:36,189 --> 00:28:37,889
and all of a sudden that changes overnight.

422
00:28:38,229 --> 00:28:41,549
You can still be going through a lot of the same emotions or mental challenges

423
00:28:41,549 --> 00:28:44,529
about old identity and acceptance.

424
00:28:45,249 --> 00:28:47,709
I just love helping people through career and life transitions.

425
00:28:47,929 --> 00:28:53,089
But accepting change is one of the hardest things for so many people to do.

426
00:28:53,089 --> 00:28:57,569
And the faster that you can learn to accept the change is constant and that

427
00:28:57,569 --> 00:29:01,449
it's gonna and that it will happen then the faster you can move forward with

428
00:29:01,449 --> 00:29:05,409
your life yeah i'm at the top of the list there are people that have a hard

429
00:29:05,409 --> 00:29:10,529
time with acceptance on lots of things it's it's tough.

430
00:29:11,489 --> 00:29:15,869
Especially when it comes out of the blue yeah but that's the magic and the mystery

431
00:29:15,869 --> 00:29:17,629
of john Jim Rohn would call it.

432
00:29:17,909 --> 00:29:24,789
It is. And I've also learned with age that everybody has struggles.

433
00:29:24,909 --> 00:29:26,989
Everybody has things that happen.

434
00:29:27,329 --> 00:29:31,889
And if you haven't yet, then watch out because it's coming.

435
00:29:31,929 --> 00:29:35,309
It doesn't mean it's going to be traumatic or insignificant or somewhere in

436
00:29:35,309 --> 00:29:37,809
between, but it happens to all of us.

437
00:29:38,109 --> 00:29:42,049
And at different times, different stages, and we're all in a different potentially situation.

438
00:29:42,049 --> 00:29:46,209
But the great thing about the internet and the community that it can create

439
00:29:46,209 --> 00:29:48,989
is you can find somebody with a similar situation,

440
00:29:49,409 --> 00:29:54,069
maybe not identical, but there are groups, there are people that like to talk

441
00:29:54,069 --> 00:29:58,509
about those things and are willing to and want to talk.

442
00:29:58,569 --> 00:30:03,049
Like you're saying, your group that you work with, maybe those existed 50 years

443
00:30:03,049 --> 00:30:08,149
ago, but they certainly were a lot more difficult to get involved with and to

444
00:30:08,149 --> 00:30:09,409
understand and connect.

445
00:30:10,009 --> 00:30:14,629
Yeah. Peer support as an example is something that's common in the world of

446
00:30:14,629 --> 00:30:19,409
people disabilities, like spinal cord injury, Ontario has a peer support program.

447
00:30:19,489 --> 00:30:23,729
So they'll match you with someone who has a similar, who's at a similar age

448
00:30:23,729 --> 00:30:27,709
and has similar injury, like support groups all around, like even Alcoholics

449
00:30:27,709 --> 00:30:30,449
Anonymous, you can consider is something like that.

450
00:30:30,589 --> 00:30:33,849
And now today we have, there's a number of people like myself who just have

451
00:30:33,849 --> 00:30:38,169
created their own community, their own group to help people through those challenges. And there's.

452
00:30:38,941 --> 00:30:43,941
There's so many niches to get into. Alcohol is something that a significant

453
00:30:43,941 --> 00:30:48,381
amount of the population is affected by or consumes, let's say.

454
00:30:48,481 --> 00:30:52,521
But if you think about things like meningitis or spinal cord injuries, that's a minority.

455
00:30:53,201 --> 00:30:58,501
However, to create a community for that specific niche, there are so many people

456
00:30:58,501 --> 00:31:01,661
that would love to connect with people specifically that have that challenge.

457
00:31:01,661 --> 00:31:07,081
Yeah how important do you think humor plays in the acceptance role or or the

458
00:31:07,081 --> 00:31:10,121
moving forward i think it's pretty important i have you gotta i feel like you

459
00:31:10,121 --> 00:31:13,541
can't take yourself too seriously and you gotta laugh yeah it's necessary like

460
00:31:13,541 --> 00:31:17,401
there's i don't think that i'm i'm the best at telling jokes per se but i can

461
00:31:17,401 --> 00:31:20,081
think of like a bunch of like funny moments and things that happen,

462
00:31:20,721 --> 00:31:25,161
like one that comes to mind this was it's super embarrassing when it happens but like,

463
00:31:25,821 --> 00:31:28,661
when it took me it took me like eight years to really

464
00:31:28,661 --> 00:31:32,361
dial in my bowels so that i wasn't having challenges

465
00:31:32,361 --> 00:31:35,221
let's just call it say but i used to

466
00:31:35,221 --> 00:31:37,821
go to my speaking events and like sometimes if the

467
00:31:37,821 --> 00:31:40,581
bowels weren't on point you'd be like farting a lot and it's like

468
00:31:40,581 --> 00:31:43,221
i'd be at i'd be like the keynote speaker at like a

469
00:31:43,221 --> 00:31:50,281
vip event like crop dusting the audience before i go up there yeah i'd be saying

470
00:31:50,281 --> 00:31:54,901
i'll never forget once i was standing on the top towers of like a one of the

471
00:31:54,901 --> 00:32:00,081
buildings in toronto and i'm like talking to like some executives and And we're

472
00:32:00,081 --> 00:32:00,961
just having a chat and they're like,

473
00:32:01,021 --> 00:32:03,381
oh, what's that smell? I'm like, I don't know.

474
00:32:03,781 --> 00:32:07,061
Weird. I'm going to roll. I don't even smell it. What are you talking about?

475
00:32:07,201 --> 00:32:09,761
Yeah. Yeah. Something must be wrong with you.

476
00:32:11,721 --> 00:32:16,361
That's good. Yeah. At least it wasn't audible. But here, like I'll give you

477
00:32:16,361 --> 00:32:18,601
another example of something that's funny that I loved.

478
00:32:18,641 --> 00:32:22,061
Like before we hit record here, I was telling you about this morning.

479
00:32:22,181 --> 00:32:26,961
Every Friday right now, I hang out with my friend Chris, who is my landscaper.

480
00:32:26,961 --> 00:32:29,801
And chris also has a spinal cord injury he's

481
00:32:29,801 --> 00:32:32,561
full-time in a wheelchair he's an incomplete injury so he can move his

482
00:32:32,561 --> 00:32:35,121
legs but he can't use them to walk he's they're not strong enough they don't have

483
00:32:35,121 --> 00:32:38,061
enough function yeah chris long story short

484
00:32:38,061 --> 00:32:41,141
in his early 20s alcoholic bar fight

485
00:32:41,141 --> 00:32:46,621
ends up wandering the streets middle of night wakes up in jail and they he has

486
00:32:46,621 --> 00:32:49,441
to hire a private investigator to track down what because he woke up in jail

487
00:32:49,441 --> 00:32:54,381
paralyzed and they have to like because when the cops found they were drunk

488
00:32:54,381 --> 00:32:56,741
he thought they were just they thought he was just drunk So they throw him in

489
00:32:56,741 --> 00:32:58,341
the car. Turns out he broke his back.

490
00:32:58,801 --> 00:33:02,081
So they hire a private investigator. Turns out what they think happened,

491
00:33:02,121 --> 00:33:05,961
the most probable solution they could conclude was that he was drunk,

492
00:33:06,041 --> 00:33:10,701
climbed a scaffolding on a construction site and slid down the garbage chute.

493
00:33:11,321 --> 00:33:16,081
And then the impact at the bottom of that probably compressed his vertebrae, broke his back.

494
00:33:16,621 --> 00:33:19,001
Anyway, so Chris said it was the best thing that ever happened to him because

495
00:33:19,001 --> 00:33:22,881
he's going down a dark path and his life's been better because of it.

496
00:33:22,881 --> 00:33:27,821
But today, so Chris is my landscaper as a paraplegic and his business name,

497
00:33:28,061 --> 00:33:29,881
take a guess what his business name is.

498
00:33:31,201 --> 00:33:35,221
Hey, there's got to be a pun involved here. Yeah, there's a pun for sure. Yeah.

499
00:33:37,861 --> 00:33:42,921
Uh i i i would i don't know tell me crippled weeds,

500
00:33:45,041 --> 00:33:49,421
yeah his business name is crippled weeds because that's acceptance right there

501
00:33:49,421 --> 00:33:56,061
yeah and chris is not politically correct in the sense of like you know diversity

502
00:33:56,061 --> 00:33:59,521
inclusion culture and because like he'll roll up and be like yeah i'm not i'm

503
00:33:59,521 --> 00:34:03,421
a crip you know and but but I crippled these weeds as well.

504
00:34:04,861 --> 00:34:09,301
And he just like, he's a hilarious, big hearted, big smiling guy.

505
00:34:09,961 --> 00:34:13,701
And so when I'm out there working with him too, like, you know, I'm off balance easily.

506
00:34:13,821 --> 00:34:18,341
And I wish I could just sometimes like leave my speaking career behind to just

507
00:34:18,341 --> 00:34:23,381
go work full time with Chris and just be the two disabled kids crippling weeds

508
00:34:23,381 --> 00:34:28,001
and pulling out flower beds and smashing concrete walls like we were doing this last week.

509
00:34:28,061 --> 00:34:30,821
But that's what makes it fun. Like we just laugh at ourselves.

510
00:34:31,181 --> 00:34:34,801
Yeah, I think that's That's important. It sounds like he's a pretty cool guy

511
00:34:34,801 --> 00:34:37,561
and got the right way to look at things. Yeah.

512
00:34:38,201 --> 00:34:41,441
So your talks also, it's the hero mindset.

513
00:34:42,861 --> 00:34:46,701
Walk me through the hero mindset and what you tell people about that.

514
00:34:47,041 --> 00:34:53,541
Yeah, just to kind of fill in the last gap of the story for listeners to piece it all together.

515
00:34:53,941 --> 00:34:59,461
So after my accident, well, two things. Number one, my dad would not accept his accident.

516
00:34:59,461 --> 00:35:02,481
And as a result five years

517
00:35:02,481 --> 00:35:06,721
later chose to take his own life unfortunately and as

518
00:35:06,721 --> 00:35:12,741
a result of that i was asked to share my life story for spinal cord injury ontario

519
00:35:12,741 --> 00:35:17,721
so i it was a five-minute talk at a fundraising event and that went well they

520
00:35:17,721 --> 00:35:20,081
said would you do it again and that went well they said would you do it again

521
00:35:20,081 --> 00:35:26,161
and 15 years later keynote speaking is my full-time gig so i I got asked to be,

522
00:35:26,261 --> 00:35:29,921
I, my, my public speaking journey began just after dad passed away.

523
00:35:30,521 --> 00:35:33,381
Just cause I also learned that I can help people with my story.

524
00:35:33,941 --> 00:35:37,341
And then the second thing that happened was it was shortly after that I discovered,

525
00:35:37,861 --> 00:35:39,901
Paralympic sport, specifically sledge hockey.

526
00:35:40,541 --> 00:35:44,261
I played hockey as a kid. It wasn't very good, but this was like a second chance

527
00:35:44,261 --> 00:35:46,821
to kind of give it a, give it a go again.

528
00:35:47,381 --> 00:35:51,921
And yeah, I played, started playing locally. Then I made the provincial team in the third year.

529
00:35:51,921 --> 00:35:55,061
Made the national team played five years we got

530
00:35:55,061 --> 00:35:58,101
a bronze in sochi us has honestly been kicking

531
00:35:58,101 --> 00:36:01,121
butt for a number of years they've you the us now

532
00:36:01,121 --> 00:36:05,281
you've won four gold medals in the paralympics back to back to back to back

533
00:36:05,281 --> 00:36:11,221
wow look at that just a week ago canada won we won our first world championship

534
00:36:11,221 --> 00:36:14,301
i think in eight years seven years

535
00:36:14,301 --> 00:36:18,921
so that was a big breakthrough because yeah us has got a solid squad,

536
00:36:19,101 --> 00:36:24,001
like just bigger population as well to pick from. A lot of double amputees, fast team.

537
00:36:24,581 --> 00:36:28,601
Canada, like every country, I would say outside of U.S., we've always struggled

538
00:36:28,601 --> 00:36:34,301
to like recruit players, which also plays into the sport in terms of like how

539
00:36:34,301 --> 00:36:36,781
competitive other teams are compared to the U.S..

540
00:36:37,654 --> 00:36:43,234
It's been challenging to keep up at times. Canada's been second for a long time

541
00:36:43,234 --> 00:36:46,574
or first and second, like swapping with us and worlds and Paris.

542
00:36:47,014 --> 00:36:50,574
But anyways, yeah, it was a blast. Got to play for many years.

543
00:36:50,594 --> 00:36:53,394
But when I came home from the Paralympics, people kept started calling me a hero.

544
00:36:53,974 --> 00:36:57,634
And I'm like, I was confused because I'm like, I'm not a hero.

545
00:36:57,714 --> 00:37:00,834
I'm just Kevin. I've just done a few things really well over a long period of time.

546
00:37:01,314 --> 00:37:04,334
And people would ask me, like, how did you do it? Like, how did you get through everything? thing.

547
00:37:04,674 --> 00:37:08,594
So I started piecing together, you know, the lessons, the tools,

548
00:37:08,634 --> 00:37:12,274
the strategies, and that's what I started teaching further in my keynotes,

549
00:37:12,294 --> 00:37:14,854
also delivering workshops for corporate audiences.

550
00:37:15,194 --> 00:37:17,754
So if anyone's listening and looking for a speaker to inspire,

551
00:37:17,854 --> 00:37:22,074
motivate their team, or to help provide some tools and strategies to navigate change,

552
00:37:22,334 --> 00:37:26,074
I love to chat, but also my coaching program,

553
00:37:26,334 --> 00:37:29,434
it's more of like a B2C product than a B2B product,

554
00:37:29,594 --> 00:37:32,794
but I just love helping people navigate career and life transition so

555
00:37:32,794 --> 00:37:35,674
as i mentioned like whether you acquired a disability maybe you're

556
00:37:35,674 --> 00:37:38,754
going through a relationship change during the pandemic when

557
00:37:38,754 --> 00:37:41,574
a lot of people like were getting let go from their jobs suddenly they were

558
00:37:41,574 --> 00:37:44,394
reaching out to me like kev how do i accept this what do i got to do next

559
00:37:44,394 --> 00:37:48,574
how do i stay resilient i just love helping people with ship their mindset that's

560
00:37:48,574 --> 00:37:52,014
that's my thing so when people called me a hero they wanted to understand my

561
00:37:52,014 --> 00:37:55,814
mindset that's when i decided to piece together my keynote as titled the hero

562
00:37:55,814 --> 00:38:00,774
mindset and my My workshops and my coaching framework is through something I

563
00:38:00,774 --> 00:38:02,394
created called the Hero Mindset Blueprint.

564
00:38:02,574 --> 00:38:05,794
So it's my own collection of tools, strategies, lessons I've learned.

565
00:38:06,454 --> 00:38:11,774
Some are like many are from other people, but it's in my own toolbox that I

566
00:38:11,774 --> 00:38:15,254
want to help share with you so you can build your own toolbox and have your

567
00:38:15,254 --> 00:38:17,454
own blueprint to help you become a hero in your own story.

568
00:38:17,954 --> 00:38:23,594
Where does that start? What's usually the biggest hurdle for people to get to that point?

569
00:38:23,834 --> 00:38:28,074
Great question. i think it depends if

570
00:38:28,074 --> 00:38:31,734
i were to pick one place to start is self-awareness like

571
00:38:31,734 --> 00:38:34,934
one of the areas of focus is self-awareness i mean ultimately that's

572
00:38:34,934 --> 00:38:38,514
what everything is like some people struggle with habits some people struggle

573
00:38:38,514 --> 00:38:42,154
with visions some people struggle with you know they just don't pay attention

574
00:38:42,154 --> 00:38:48,614
to numbers let's say like i had a vision for years and had a poor habit of spending

575
00:38:48,614 --> 00:38:52,814
money and i just was never getting ahead but in terms of like helping people,

576
00:38:53,274 --> 00:38:54,574
you know, turn things around.

577
00:38:55,947 --> 00:38:59,087
Getting clear on where you are, where you want to go is the first step.

578
00:38:59,967 --> 00:39:02,587
You know, what are the hurdles and obstacles of getting in your way?

579
00:39:03,007 --> 00:39:05,707
There are some people that, you know, maybe have a great life on the outside,

580
00:39:05,887 --> 00:39:08,127
but on the inside, they're suffering because they're, you know,

581
00:39:08,127 --> 00:39:11,807
not facing some truth about their life. Maybe they're not having some difficult conversations.

582
00:39:12,907 --> 00:39:15,787
People with disabilities, I think it's definitely that acceptance piece.

583
00:39:15,927 --> 00:39:19,607
I know a lot of people that, you know, this blew my mind, but I don't respect

584
00:39:19,607 --> 00:39:23,827
the honesty, but I was chatting with someone over Instagram who acquired a spinal

585
00:39:23,827 --> 00:39:28,087
cord injury. She's been injured for about a year and a half and she's unhappy.

586
00:39:28,327 --> 00:39:32,627
She's depressed and feels like her life is in a spiral.

587
00:39:33,147 --> 00:39:34,887
I'm chatting with her. She wants help.

588
00:39:35,507 --> 00:39:38,747
But I asked her, I'm like, you know, have you accepted your injury or are you

589
00:39:38,747 --> 00:39:40,567
ready to do that? And she just flat out said no.

590
00:39:41,067 --> 00:39:45,747
And I'm like, cool, respect. I'm like, when you're ready to accept that and

591
00:39:45,747 --> 00:39:47,247
move forward, I can help you.

592
00:39:47,287 --> 00:39:51,047
But if you're not willing to, I can't do anything for you.

593
00:39:51,507 --> 00:39:56,687
And I can provide you with questions to ask yourself. One of the questions to

594
00:39:56,687 --> 00:39:59,487
ask yourself is, number one, what are you holding on to?

595
00:39:59,907 --> 00:40:02,687
Number two, ask yourself, what do I need to let go of?

596
00:40:03,227 --> 00:40:07,187
And as I mentioned, that might mean you need to let go of past relationships.

597
00:40:07,267 --> 00:40:09,447
You might need to let go of a past identity.

598
00:40:10,107 --> 00:40:14,307
You might need to let go of family members. You might need to let go of an old career.

599
00:40:14,427 --> 00:40:17,907
You might need to let go of an old goal or vision you had for yourself.

600
00:40:17,907 --> 00:40:25,767
But if you stay in resistance about what your reality is, you will stay stuck.

601
00:40:26,307 --> 00:40:31,127
You'll stay frustrated. You'll stay depressed. You'll stay in a mindset where

602
00:40:31,127 --> 00:40:32,947
you feel like you're not moving forward.

603
00:40:33,407 --> 00:40:37,707
And yeah, folks with disabilities, I find that's just the difference.

604
00:40:37,707 --> 00:40:41,847
Like those that accept it are willing to lean into it, embrace it, laugh at it.

605
00:40:42,027 --> 00:40:45,167
Those are the ones that can live a fulfilling and thriving life with a disability.

606
00:40:45,327 --> 00:40:50,627
But if you're not, and here's a punchline to what I said to her and what I've

607
00:40:50,627 --> 00:40:54,347
said to many people, acceptance does not mean giving up.

608
00:40:55,416 --> 00:40:58,076
I think a lot of people, when they say, if I accept my injury,

609
00:40:58,156 --> 00:41:02,556
if I accept that I'm paralyzed, that means my life is over. I'm now a disabled person.

610
00:41:02,956 --> 00:41:06,696
I'll never get back and I might as well stop trying. I'm like, that's not true at all.

611
00:41:06,956 --> 00:41:10,656
It doesn't mean that you stop trying to make your recovery, whether you are

612
00:41:10,656 --> 00:41:12,116
striving to walk again or not.

613
00:41:13,036 --> 00:41:16,896
Acceptance doesn't mean that you stop working to better your life or find a

614
00:41:16,896 --> 00:41:21,536
new career or improve your habits or to become happier.

615
00:41:21,536 --> 00:41:25,876
Year like doesn't mean you stop it just means you stop resisting perhaps

616
00:41:25,876 --> 00:41:28,976
like a false identity or holding on to what once

617
00:41:28,976 --> 00:41:31,916
was versus focusing on what is and then try to create

618
00:41:31,916 --> 00:41:34,956
what could be yeah and that's oftentimes pretty tough

619
00:41:34,956 --> 00:41:40,816
for people to get through the good news is you're just one decision away to

620
00:41:40,816 --> 00:41:45,136
the listeners like you are everything is everything's already within you it's

621
00:41:45,136 --> 00:41:51,256
literally decision away you can decide to say no for another 5 10 15 years or

622
00:41:51,256 --> 00:41:52,316
you can and decide to say yes today.

623
00:41:53,216 --> 00:41:59,016
Let's say yes today, Kevin. This is an audio-only podcast, so nobody will see.

624
00:41:59,116 --> 00:42:01,996
I mean, you can see this on the website, but I don't know if you can see my... Can you see my cup?

625
00:42:02,416 --> 00:42:06,356
Don't wait. My mug, yeah. So this is one of my mantras and kind of what you're

626
00:42:06,356 --> 00:42:12,096
just talking about, I think, is we talked about time and how fast it goes, particularly as we age.

627
00:42:12,396 --> 00:42:16,136
You know, man, I was doing this. That happened... Gosh, that was three months

628
00:42:16,136 --> 00:42:17,936
ago that happened? That feels like it was yesterday.

629
00:42:18,676 --> 00:42:20,576
And I have certainly learned that...

630
00:42:21,356 --> 00:42:24,296
This is it. Don't wait. It doesn't mean you have to make a stupid,

631
00:42:24,416 --> 00:42:30,616
rash decision, but it does mean that you need to always be trying to move forward

632
00:42:30,616 --> 00:42:35,996
and taking the setbacks that happen as just part of the journey with life in general.

633
00:42:35,996 --> 00:42:40,696
But you've got to keep moving forward because if you don't, it will catch with

634
00:42:40,696 --> 00:42:42,936
you fast. I mean, I'm speaking from experience.

635
00:42:43,236 --> 00:42:48,136
I feel like there's lots of things in life that I waited way too long to do

636
00:42:48,136 --> 00:42:52,796
and it's not necessarily a midlife crisis as much as it is just the understanding of.

637
00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:57,540
There's still things I got to do. And if I don't get started on them,

638
00:42:57,560 --> 00:42:58,240
it's just not going to happen.

639
00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:02,500
Yeah. Well, that was the big thing for my dad. My dad waited to live his life.

640
00:43:02,760 --> 00:43:05,640
He waited till retirement to go do the things that he wanted to do.

641
00:43:05,720 --> 00:43:11,840
He waited till retirement to further work on the house or go on some trips that

642
00:43:11,840 --> 00:43:16,200
he wanted to do because it was the old school like mindset or style of thinking,

643
00:43:16,320 --> 00:43:19,140
like work until you retire and then enjoy your last 20 years of your life.

644
00:43:19,820 --> 00:43:23,540
So when dad was eight months away from enjoying his life, the way that he viewed

645
00:43:23,540 --> 00:43:28,320
it, he felt so angry and bitter because it was taken away from him.

646
00:43:28,580 --> 00:43:32,920
And that's why I pursued everything I have in my life. Cause I also don't want

647
00:43:32,920 --> 00:43:35,440
to wait because I've seen how fast it can change.

648
00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:40,540
It can branch breaks and then a split millisecond, your life's never going to be the same.

649
00:43:40,620 --> 00:43:45,740
And through my life in the rehab center too, like other people that have been injured,

650
00:43:46,240 --> 00:43:50,480
I was injured in an extreme sport, which many people might say is the highest risk thing,

651
00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:57,740
or one of, but when I was in my rehab for four months, the other people that

652
00:43:57,740 --> 00:44:00,980
were injured, there were three people that had, were on a four wheeler.

653
00:44:00,980 --> 00:44:02,620
So you're on the ground, you're not jumping.

654
00:44:03,440 --> 00:44:07,400
Three of those people on four wheelers rolled the four wheeler down the hill

655
00:44:07,400 --> 00:44:09,360
sideways. So it rolled on top of them, broke their back.

656
00:44:10,783 --> 00:44:13,843
There was one guy who was working in an attic with his dad, stepped on a piece

657
00:44:13,843 --> 00:44:15,823
of insulation. He thought there was like plywood underneath.

658
00:44:15,923 --> 00:44:18,003
There wasn't. He felt two stories. The ground broke his back.

659
00:44:18,643 --> 00:44:23,943
There were two individuals that went in for elective surgeries that went wrong

660
00:44:23,943 --> 00:44:25,023
and they were paralyzed.

661
00:44:25,263 --> 00:44:29,463
There was another guy that was walking downtown Toronto, got jumped from behind.

662
00:44:29,543 --> 00:44:32,183
Somebody with the butt end of a handgun smashed the back of his neck,

663
00:44:32,243 --> 00:44:36,763
broke his vertebrae in his neck, didn't shoot him, but he had a spinal cord injury.

664
00:44:37,723 --> 00:44:41,023
There's another guy that was at a house party. that got

665
00:44:41,023 --> 00:44:43,763
into a fight on a balcony got pushed off

666
00:44:43,763 --> 00:44:46,983
the balcony over the edge and broke his neck had two

667
00:44:46,983 --> 00:44:50,003
kids it's like there's and there was another lady

668
00:44:50,003 --> 00:44:53,143
not so that was a broken leg not a broken back but like

669
00:44:53,143 --> 00:44:56,383
there's so many there's so

670
00:44:56,383 --> 00:45:00,023
many different things that can happen to people

671
00:45:00,023 --> 00:45:02,923
at any point you don't have to be doing extreme sport to

672
00:45:02,923 --> 00:45:06,003
your for your life to change suddenly of course there's car accidents or

673
00:45:06,003 --> 00:45:09,523
people with car accidents and when i was getting when i was in the hospital

674
00:45:09,523 --> 00:45:13,103
too like just meeting folks has slipped on ice like here in canada fucking there's

675
00:45:13,103 --> 00:45:19,323
a lot of that yeah there is yeah like and i'm not just one more second on this

676
00:45:19,323 --> 00:45:22,383
like i was recently speaking with spinal cord injury ontario and they were telling

677
00:45:22,383 --> 00:45:23,243
you how the demographics.

678
00:45:24,183 --> 00:45:27,503
Of the folks that are injured today are

679
00:45:27,503 --> 00:45:30,943
so different than they were 15 years ago when i was injured they

680
00:45:30,943 --> 00:45:34,003
said the majority of the patients that are currently coming through the facility now

681
00:45:34,003 --> 00:45:36,983
now are elderly like and there's

682
00:45:36,983 --> 00:45:41,403
you know 50s 60s 70s 80s who especially

683
00:45:41,403 --> 00:45:44,443
through the pandemic may have retired and now they're just living that

684
00:45:44,443 --> 00:45:47,323
social life at home and yeah they

685
00:45:47,323 --> 00:45:50,863
slip they slip on ice or they're climbing a ladder they're they

686
00:45:50,863 --> 00:45:54,543
fall off the ladder or fall off a roof they're doing the eavesdrops they're

687
00:45:54,543 --> 00:45:58,383
in their old age and they're trying to stay active and but as a result they're

688
00:45:58,383 --> 00:46:01,363
not as strong and then they're having these slips and falls and then they're

689
00:46:01,363 --> 00:46:08,083
winding a paralyzed way late into their life and i'm like obviously that's awful to hear but it's like,

690
00:46:09,001 --> 00:46:13,261
It can happen in so many different ways. It's crazy to even think about.

691
00:46:14,221 --> 00:46:18,161
Something I saw the other day recently, you posted something on LinkedIn,

692
00:46:18,261 --> 00:46:22,781
which we'll link to all your stuff down below, website and stuff and the show

693
00:46:22,781 --> 00:46:24,161
notes and on the website.

694
00:46:24,341 --> 00:46:26,121
But you posted something. I'm not going to get the quote right.

695
00:46:26,181 --> 00:46:29,501
It wasn't your own quote. And you said you couldn't, I think, remember who said it.

696
00:46:29,561 --> 00:46:34,421
But it was something like, you need to go through your content until your content goes through you,

697
00:46:34,421 --> 00:46:37,961
which i think means your your your

698
00:46:37,961 --> 00:46:42,121
your what you talk about your speech what you do you got to know that like the

699
00:46:42,121 --> 00:46:45,481
back of your hand which sounds to me like you do or at least you work daily

700
00:46:45,481 --> 00:46:50,021
on that so that that stuff just kind of flows through you and i think that's

701
00:46:50,021 --> 00:46:54,061
i think people can tell when it doesn't yeah i mean speaking about your life

702
00:46:54,061 --> 00:46:57,241
helps like i don't forget my life,

703
00:46:57,961 --> 00:47:01,181
yeah and you're you're the resident expert on your life too i would imagine

704
00:47:01,181 --> 00:47:06,361
yeah yeah and in In that post, I was referring to the opening and closing of a speech,

705
00:47:06,521 --> 00:47:11,261
meaning those are two of the most important moments of a presentation to nail

706
00:47:11,261 --> 00:47:15,361
so the audience is engaged and paying attention and leaves with the right message. Yeah.

707
00:47:16,181 --> 00:47:20,421
The journey of speaking has been fun. There's so many different lessons to share

708
00:47:20,421 --> 00:47:23,021
along the way. And it changes as you get older, too.

709
00:47:23,441 --> 00:47:28,341
I was saying my life with Jess and her two girls now is bringing such a different

710
00:47:28,341 --> 00:47:31,401
meaning and purpose after all that I've been through in terms of how I want

711
00:47:31,401 --> 00:47:34,641
to show up and who I want to be. and life's beautiful that way.

712
00:47:35,201 --> 00:47:38,321
Life certainly is beautiful, but it's not always beautiful the way we think

713
00:47:38,321 --> 00:47:41,741
it's going to be or the way we planned it to be, but it certainly can be beautiful.

714
00:47:41,881 --> 00:47:44,081
So I think that's a great way to look at it.

715
00:47:44,581 --> 00:47:47,221
Kevin, I appreciate you stopping by and chatting with us here.

716
00:47:47,721 --> 00:47:52,361
If somebody wants to find more about you and what you do, where's the best place for them to go?

717
00:47:53,421 --> 00:47:57,061
Instagram or LinkedIn are the two places that I post the most content.

718
00:47:57,441 --> 00:48:03,041
I'm real easy to find. My website is kevinrempel.com, R-E-M-P-E-L.

719
00:48:03,801 --> 00:48:06,901
Instagram is at kevinrempel, LinkedIn, same thing.

720
00:48:07,381 --> 00:48:12,781
And if anyone who's listening here is going through a career or life transition

721
00:48:12,781 --> 00:48:16,581
and would like some help with their mindset, I'd encourage you to please reach

722
00:48:16,581 --> 00:48:19,501
out, send me a message too, learn more about the Hero Tribe.

723
00:48:19,741 --> 00:48:23,121
On my Instagram, you can see a number of different testimonials from folks that

724
00:48:23,121 --> 00:48:26,681
have had spinal cord injuries, or like I say, amputee, or just going through

725
00:48:26,681 --> 00:48:29,181
life and the career change or want to go through a career change,

726
00:48:29,801 --> 00:48:32,901
I'm really passionate about helping people, especially people with disabilities,

727
00:48:33,001 --> 00:48:37,121
to, like I said, move into acceptance and shift their mindset and find a way

728
00:48:37,121 --> 00:48:38,721
to live that fulfilling life that they dream of.

729
00:48:39,081 --> 00:48:42,501
Kevin, once again, thanks, man. You are a wild man. I appreciate it.

730
00:48:43,301 --> 00:48:46,781
Thanks a lot, John. I'm stoked to have shared my story with you. Thanks for having me on.

731
00:48:48,561 --> 00:48:51,661
Thanks so much for spending your time with the Destiny of Debatable podcast.

732
00:48:52,501 --> 00:48:56,441
Please rate and write a review wherever you subscribe. It really does help us

733
00:48:56,441 --> 00:48:57,641
grow and reach new people.

734
00:48:57,881 --> 00:49:01,841
For more information, visit johnbgrimes.com.

735
00:49:03,661 --> 00:49:06,521
Destiny is Debatable is a Symblom production.

736
00:49:09,040 --> 00:49:14,041
Music.