Seizing Today: Jonathan Tuteur’s Journey with Epilepsy and Finding Purpose

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Music.

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Welcome to destiny is debatable a podcast and movement that will encourage you

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to build your life into the one you want,

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here's your host a guy who's still remarkably tall for his age john grimes,

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hey uh john stewart welcome i'm sorry john tucher welcome to the destiny's debatable

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podcast thanks for stopping by thanks for having me john appreciate it you're

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not the first to uh miss misrepresent me for yeah yeah that's what i hear sorry

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about that so like when when did that

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start since as my my two

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girls like to remind me when my hair turned from gray

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to white so you know a couple years ago or so okay yeah

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are you is that a are you okay with that i mean has

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that worked out to your advantage ever have you gotten like a cool seat

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at the at a restaurant or something because you know it's john stewart or does

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that work to your advantage not quite that good but hey there's there's worse

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people to to look like but i the one story i was on a plane once with my wife

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and the the flight attendant came over and started to give me some free things,

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you know here you go mr stewart and i'm like wait no well thanks i'll take it

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yeah great yeah you know i'll take the free cookies appreciate it or whatever

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you're gonna ask for an autograph.

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No do you think you'd do it you know why not right i mean i just i'm just too

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honest of a person so i always sit when people are like are you like no no no

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no i'm not yeah but i've had lots of people say to me you just need to go with

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it so i don't maybe maybe try it sometime yeah,

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yeah see where it gets you i mean you might could kind of end up in a in a maybe

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an awkward place or something though yeah that's that's interesting it is a

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striking resemblance and this is a audio only podcast which is the theater of

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the mind and the audio and radio but there is a there's a photo of John,

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as the image for the episode as well as the guest bio picture on the website.

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So look down in the show notes, you'll see a link to that and you can,

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I don't know, gauge for yourself and just see how close they are.

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We'll find out if yours is funny or at least do you have any comedic background or anything?

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Definitely not. Although I did take a...

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What is that called again? Improv. I took an improv class once.

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I was blanking on that. But no, no comedy background.

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And just out of curiosity, did I send you the picture at a friend who did a side-by-side of us?

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No, but you should. And we'll include that too. Awesome. Yeah. Please do. Yeah.

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Roger. That's awesome. Yeah. So I ran into you, John, from an article in Authority Magazine,

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which should be in the show notes below as

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well on the unstoppable series that they

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did about life-changing events in

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your case epilepsy so i want to i want to

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visit with you about that it's a pretty fascinating story and you've written

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a book about it that's coming out sometime pretty soon but before we get into

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that john i have some questions that my audience uh i'm contractually obligated

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to ask you um to kind of get to

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know you so if you can hang in there for a couple of questions of course.

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So what's your favorite band or type of

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music uh i love country music

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so hopefully that works for for a guy from dallas um

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but uh yeah pretty much any type of country music

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uh zach brown band is probably my favorite okay

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of all time i'm a country guy now in texas

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we have like texas country there's nashville country there's you

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know like red dirt there's all kinds of different kinds of country but

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i i feel what you're i feel zach brown that's good

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yeah it's probably more the pop country and

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as an author i feel like that makes you a reader maybe not but um what is your

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favorite book or maybe favorite author yeah i i love books um i typically am

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reading three four five six at a time which drives my wife nuts oh wow that's

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that's intense Intense. Yeah. Okay.

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But for me, like, you know, I want to, I want to be excited about what I'm reading

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and, you know, I don't want to just be tied down to one specific book at a time

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and feel like, okay, I have to finish that before I can go to the next one.

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So I have a lot of favorite authors.

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Nonfiction is my preferred genre. I just, I love memoirs.

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I love just getting into the people's heads um and

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kind of living you know living

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in their shoes um so i love everything by

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adam grant i love uh grit by angela duckworth uh there's there's just there's

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so many i mean i love all the mitch album books uh i could go on and on yeah

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i i get that yeah you're you're well read it sounds like yeah so i'll have to

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send you my book when when that time comes which is hopefully sooner than later.

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Please. I can't wait. It's a non-fiction area. We talked a little bit about

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that earlier off the record, but yeah, that's pretty cool. Okay.

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So as I mentioned, you've written a book, so no secrets here as far as your

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life goes once that thing is out there.

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But what is something, even though you've spilled all that stuff in the book,

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what is something that most people don't know about you? My default answer to

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that question is I'm a triplet.

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That tends to get a lot of eyebrow raises and lots of questions.

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Of course, I had nothing to do with that, but thanks, mom and dad.

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But certainly growing up that way is different.

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There aren't that many of us out there. So So that certainly shaped,

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you know, who I've become.

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And to some extent is part of the hypothesis as to why I started having seizures at the age of 30.

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We can't prove that scientifically, but my neurologist has certainly said that that's plausible.

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So that's probably the one thing that I would share at this point.

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If you could time travel to any time or place present or future where would

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you go and what do you think you'd do oh gosh john that's a that's a tough one,

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makes me think of back to the future which was one of my favorite movies um

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that's a great one yeah yeah i think we're about the same age so um yeah yeah

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that's that's a great yes yes um You know,

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I would probably go back to the 40s.

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Just World War II is so fascinating to me and everything that sort of surrounds

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that or surrounded that.

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Just, you know, seeing what, just living through that, I think would be obviously

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very challenging, but also fascinating.

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I love history and just, you know, I'm such a big believer in history repeats itself.

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And I think the more we understand about history, the more we can help prevent

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those types of things from happening.

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And not to get into a political rabbit hole here, but, you know,

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the scary thing is that there are certain things that happened in the 40s that

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are happening again now.

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So that's probably a really interesting time I'd love to go back to.

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Okay, and finally, what advice would you give your 19-year-old self?

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And more importantly, do you think you would listen?

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Oh, gosh. I don't think I would listen because at 19, we're,

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especially 19-year-old men, we're just... 10 feet tall and bulletproof and the,

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yeah, exactly. Totally.

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Music.

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Let things come to you. And I think I, you know, as I look back on those years,

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I think there were too many things that I sort of,

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you know, there were directions I went in for the wrong reasons, I would say.

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And I think just being able to exercise patience and really think through those

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decisions, looking at sort of the bigger picture, the long-term impacts.

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Packs you know it's really hard to do that at

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19 right that's why i say there's no way i would listen to that advice but

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you know at 46 it's easy

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in hindsight to say those things okay you passed

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the test that's all the hard-hitting questions we got okay let's talk a little

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bit about your family you mentioned the triplet thing i am kind of fascinated

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by that how common are triplets not that not that you're an expert i guess on

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this at all but i mean like and what you know about triplets.

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Yeah, I think, you know, certainly now they're more common than they were in the seventies.

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You know, we, we were not natural triplets. So I'll just put that out there.

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My parents went through fertility. It was Clomid was the drug at the time.

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And it was just, you know, known for producing multiple births.

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So there, you know, it was, it was very rare back then, but now with,

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you know, some IVF and everything else, it's, it's just much more common.

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I don't know the specific numbers, but it's pretty rare. It's pretty rare.

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I did read your book. I had an advanced copy of the book and it's tremendous.

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You go into kind of something I didn't know about triplets or multiples,

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even more quadruplets and so on.

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There's a lot of health concerns for the babies that I really wasn't aware of.

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Yeah, you know, so my mom is five foot one.

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So not, not a big person by any means.

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And, you know, I think about, you know, three fetuses in her belly.

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That's, that's pretty dangerous.

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And so they, you know, their, their doctors told them, look,

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there's a pretty high likelihood that one or more of them won't make it.

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And so they told all of their friends that they were having twins because they,

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you know, they felt like, you know, it's just much easier to,

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you know, to tell that story and not have to explain why one of them, one of us died,

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you know, than to go the other way.

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So when they called their friends to tell them that they had,

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you know, that there were three of them, that was just a huge, huge surprise. eyes.

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Fast forward to when my wife and I were hoping to get pregnant.

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And the first time around, we had to go through IVF.

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And I'll just never, and you probably remember this from reading the book,

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I'll never forget sitting there with our IVF doctor.

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And he was very clear about, we will only implant one embryo at a time because

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we really want to limit the possibility that you could have twins or triplets

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or, you know, any sort of multiples.

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And my response to him was, well, I'm a triplet and, you know,

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we all came out, you know, pretty normal.

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And he just got very serious and said

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to me you're very lucky you know

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it's it's very dangerous to not only

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to the the fetuses but to the mother as well and you know it's it's my job to

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help you get pregnant but also to do it as safely as possible it was really

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eye-opening for me i hadn't had never thought about it that way wow crazy and

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you feel like i think you said earlier that

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the so i don't know much about epilepsy

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my biggest source of information about that is

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your book so i mean i i know that stuff and i'm aware of it i just don't know

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you know a tremendous amount about it but i'm super interested in learning about

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it but it sounds like you said that you feel like your chances of that were

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increased from the triplet situation is that Did I hear that right?

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So I wouldn't say it exactly like that.

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And, you know, any scientist or doctor, not that they would bristle at that,

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but, you know, there's no way to prove it.

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It's just there's a very large percentage of people that have epilepsy that don't know why, right?

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So, you know, the common causes are traumatic brain injury, you know,

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those types of things, some sort of injury to your brain or,

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you know, something else, you know, catastrophic has happened to you that's triggering seizures.

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In my case, you know, I was living a pretty normal life for 30 years and then

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suddenly out of the blue started having seizures.

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And so, you know, I think it's just really challenging when something like that

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happens and you don't have answers, right?

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It's just this question of why just was really challenging.

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And so, you know, as we kind of talk through it, I think my mom actually came

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up with that explanation first.

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And I, you know, talked to my neurologist about it and he said,

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listen, it's plausible.

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We'll never be able to prove it, but it's plausible. So...

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You know trauma in the womb is sort of the term we

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use right again you have three babies in a really small person's belly

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bouncing around off of each other and you know other

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crazy things going on in there so who knows otherwise i

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just you know have no other explanation looking back on

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it you said it it struck at 30 for you was there

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any indications that you

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may have glossed over

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or been ignored or been unaware

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of that's that may have

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indicated something earlier on yeah you know i've i have racked my brain on

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that question so many times and i just can't think of anything yeah you know

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again that's yeah i've just i've gone through that mental exercise so many times I just,

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I can't find anything in my past that would point to it.

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I wish that I could, but yeah, I haven't.

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So at 30, what happens? Like how does what you have, walk me through the beginning

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of understanding that something's going on here.

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Yeah. So at 30, I was, I was a workaholic and it was late at night.

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I was working at my desk in my, in my apartment in Washington,

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DC. And the next thing I know, I'm waking up slumped over against my bed, which abutted my desk.

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And I was confused. I didn't know what happened.

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But I just sort of chalked it up to, okay, I'm really tired and working like crazy.

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I mean, I was working 60, 80, 100-hour weeks at times.

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And I just got in bed, fell asleep, woke up the next morning.

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And I was in a meeting with my primary client who was sitting across from me in an office.

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And the next thing I know, I'm waking up in an ER.

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And as he recounts it, we were talking and in the middle of the conversation,

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my eyes rolled back in my head.

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My head fell down, hit the table.

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I fell down on the floor and started to shake a bit. But at that point,

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the doctor still wasn't sure what was going on, didn't diagnose me with anything.

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Just, you know, sometimes the body does weird things and sometimes we just need to reboot.

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So it was sort of like, let's keep an eye on this. But, you know, there's no diagnosis.

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And then about a month or so later, I was on a work trip to Ottawa.

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Yeah, I think this is the great story from the book where you passed away, right? Is that it?

222
00:16:17,926 --> 00:16:22,666
Exactly. So I was doing a lot of work with the State Department at the time.

223
00:16:22,666 --> 00:16:27,206
And I was at the American Embassy in Ottawa with a colleague sitting at a conference

224
00:16:27,206 --> 00:16:30,146
room table with a bunch of State Department employees.

225
00:16:30,386 --> 00:16:33,606
And again, next thing I know, I'm waking up in an Ottawa ER room.

226
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And unbeknownst to me at the time, but later I learned from my boss that,

227
00:16:39,977 --> 00:16:44,417
so at the time I was working for Accenture and they had a group called Accenture Security Operations,

228
00:16:44,917 --> 00:16:50,097
which is the group that is in charge of people that are traveling overseas.

229
00:16:50,597 --> 00:16:54,537
And so she would speak to this group all the time, but this time they called

230
00:16:54,537 --> 00:16:59,517
her and literally said, John Tudor passed away.

231
00:16:59,517 --> 00:17:03,657
Way and she was you know

232
00:17:03,657 --> 00:17:07,157
obviously shocked yeah wow yeah and

233
00:17:07,157 --> 00:17:09,977
she she then called my colleague who

234
00:17:09,977 --> 00:17:14,897
i was traveling with and you know she said no you know john didn't pass away

235
00:17:14,897 --> 00:17:21,617
he passed out oh out away big big difference there yeah yeah so you know and

236
00:17:21,617 --> 00:17:24,997
and we're we're in ottawa you know where they speak english so you can't even

237
00:17:24,997 --> 00:17:28,197
blame it on you know translation from one language to another,

238
00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:31,617
I'm not exactly sure how they got away and out, confused there,

239
00:17:31,757 --> 00:17:34,817
but there's a big difference. Yeah, big difference, yeah.

240
00:17:35,437 --> 00:17:39,257
So yeah, at that point, the doctor,

241
00:17:40,037 --> 00:17:46,137
based on what was described to him and how I was acting after I woke up,

242
00:17:46,217 --> 00:17:47,317
diagnosed me with epilepsy,

243
00:17:47,657 --> 00:17:53,037
gave me Dilantin, which is one of the oldest anti-seizure medications out there,

244
00:17:53,157 --> 00:17:56,717
and before I could even ask him any questions, he just kinda left.

245
00:17:57,977 --> 00:18:05,717
And that was really, really difficult because that was not anything that I was prepared for.

246
00:18:06,517 --> 00:18:10,097
And that began more than 500 seizures.

247
00:18:11,833 --> 00:18:17,533
Countless medical tests 40 over 40 days and nights in the hospital three brain

248
00:18:17,533 --> 00:18:21,953
surgeries 15 hole drilled my head i mean on and on just the craziness that's

249
00:18:21,953 --> 00:18:25,713
occurred since then yeah do you think the holes in your head contributed to the white hair at all.

250
00:18:27,393 --> 00:18:32,593
Is that possible i mean for sure the stress of holes in your head would would

251
00:18:32,593 --> 00:18:37,673
do something but i don't know if the actual drilling yeah you know we're gonna

252
00:18:37,673 --> 00:18:41,053
go with that i like that that's it's It's my neurosurgeon's fault that he drilled

253
00:18:41,053 --> 00:18:44,193
all those holes to make all of my hair white instead of gray.

254
00:18:45,513 --> 00:18:50,713
Yeah, it's a pretty amazing journey. You walk through all those holes and the

255
00:18:50,713 --> 00:18:52,533
surgeries and all those things in the book.

256
00:18:52,613 --> 00:18:56,093
And it's really pretty fascinating and quite a journey.

257
00:18:56,553 --> 00:18:58,933
I guess in layman's terms, what is epilepsy?

258
00:19:00,393 --> 00:19:08,213
So it's multiple occurrences of seizures, which are, which is electrical activity

259
00:19:08,213 --> 00:19:13,873
in your brain that fires abnormally that sort of lay person's term.

260
00:19:13,993 --> 00:19:18,733
If you know, if we had a epileptologist on here, he or she would probably correct

261
00:19:18,733 --> 00:19:22,533
that in somewhat deeper form, but in lay lay layman's terms,

262
00:19:22,673 --> 00:19:23,833
that's essentially what it is.

263
00:19:24,153 --> 00:19:27,253
And where this gets complicated is

264
00:19:27,253 --> 00:19:30,433
there are over 30 different types of seizures you know

265
00:19:30,433 --> 00:19:33,293
so most people think oh seizure grand

266
00:19:33,293 --> 00:19:36,273
grandma seizure epilepsy grandma seizure right you you lose

267
00:19:36,273 --> 00:19:39,373
consciousness you shake that's that's that was my knowledge

268
00:19:39,373 --> 00:19:43,073
of it was a grandma seizure yeah yeah then

269
00:19:43,073 --> 00:19:45,793
that's that's really what most people know that's all i knew

270
00:19:45,793 --> 00:19:48,773
before this happened and you know

271
00:19:48,773 --> 00:19:51,913
i've definitely had it's the the medical term

272
00:19:51,913 --> 00:19:58,793
for grand mal seizures tonic-clonic seizure I've had many of those but the majority

273
00:19:58,793 --> 00:20:05,513
of the seizures I've had are what's called focal onset aware seizures those

274
00:20:05,513 --> 00:20:09,873
are I actually don't lose consciousness I'm awake.

275
00:20:11,096 --> 00:20:14,736
And there's really three phases and they detail this in the book.

276
00:20:15,216 --> 00:20:20,376
The first phase is a really awful, nauseating smell, which I'm not going to

277
00:20:20,376 --> 00:20:23,796
go into the specifics around that now. I do it. I appreciate that. Yeah.

278
00:20:24,216 --> 00:20:29,876
So hard to explain, but just this really bad smell. And then this is the craziest

279
00:20:29,876 --> 00:20:35,736
part is it's so so so the term aura, I think, is common to people.

280
00:20:35,756 --> 00:20:38,216
Right. You know, people think aura, deja vu.

281
00:20:38,556 --> 00:20:43,036
I did a lot of research on this. Deja vu is not really the right term for what I experienced.

282
00:20:43,296 --> 00:20:49,336
It's really more of a flashback because it's as if my brain is playing a movie

283
00:20:49,336 --> 00:20:53,176
or a scene from my life that has already happened.

284
00:20:53,416 --> 00:21:00,496
So I'm transported back to some place in my life 10, 15, 20 years ago.

285
00:21:01,176 --> 00:21:05,696
It's already happened. it's the strangest thing and it's like the same set of

286
00:21:05,696 --> 00:21:13,256
like five six seven scenes every time this happens so I so the movie plays and

287
00:21:13,256 --> 00:21:19,436
then I get really sweaty like on my hairline and my back the nausea continues to increase and,

288
00:21:19,976 --> 00:21:23,516
then then it ends how long

289
00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:26,556
what's the duration of that it's it's

290
00:21:26,556 --> 00:21:32,416
pretty short a couple minutes at most okay and do you know immediately what's

291
00:21:32,416 --> 00:21:36,836
happening or is there some sort of trigger that lets you know it's happening

292
00:21:36,836 --> 00:21:40,096
or you're just in it before you kind of know what happened yeah i mean it's

293
00:21:40,096 --> 00:21:44,056
really the smell and and the aura that the beginning of that.

294
00:21:44,856 --> 00:21:49,956
Notifies me for sure you talk about the bees too this buzzing type thing that happens.

295
00:21:51,396 --> 00:21:57,716
Yeah so i have a i have so what i really wanted to do among other things in the book is to make,

296
00:21:59,016 --> 00:22:02,116
epilepsy more understandable for people because

297
00:22:02,116 --> 00:22:06,876
it is so complex and the brain is so complex there's still so much we don't

298
00:22:06,876 --> 00:22:13,036
know about it and so i i came up with this this b analogy to kind of make it

299
00:22:13,036 --> 00:22:19,176
you know make it easier for people to understand so so there's a lot of,

300
00:22:19,636 --> 00:22:23,736
comparisons to how bees operate and how the brain operates.

301
00:22:24,156 --> 00:22:31,036
And yeah, so that theme kind of, I carry that throughout the book and reference that throughout.

302
00:22:31,136 --> 00:22:35,156
So hopefully people will get that as they read it.

303
00:22:36,476 --> 00:22:38,916
Sorry, how many people have epilepsy in the US?

304
00:22:40,290 --> 00:22:46,490
One in 26 people, which I think when most people hear that statistic,

305
00:22:46,710 --> 00:22:47,770
they're shocked, right?

306
00:22:47,830 --> 00:22:50,550
That's not an insignificant amount.

307
00:22:50,690 --> 00:22:55,330
No, it's not. It amounts to about 65 million people worldwide.

308
00:22:56,010 --> 00:23:03,570
So chances are that your listeners, every single one of them knows at least

309
00:23:03,570 --> 00:23:04,770
one person with epilepsy.

310
00:23:04,870 --> 00:23:09,950
They just don't know it because so many people just don't talk about it.

311
00:23:10,570 --> 00:23:14,010
And that's another reason why I wrote this book and why I wanted to come on

312
00:23:14,010 --> 00:23:15,450
your podcast and other podcasts.

313
00:23:15,770 --> 00:23:18,990
I really want to talk about it. I want to de-stigmatize it.

314
00:23:19,030 --> 00:23:24,410
I want to make people really understand what it is. is, and I've shared this

315
00:23:24,410 --> 00:23:26,310
story before, I'm going to share it again.

316
00:23:26,670 --> 00:23:32,270
I met a pediatric neurologist in 2021 at the Epilepsy Foundation Conference.

317
00:23:32,410 --> 00:23:37,050
And he was telling me a story about one of his patients that came in for an

318
00:23:37,050 --> 00:23:38,070
appointment with his mother.

319
00:23:38,350 --> 00:23:42,210
And the mother, during the appointment, looked at him and said,

320
00:23:42,430 --> 00:23:48,330
we're taking little Davey to church this weekend for an exorcism.

321
00:23:48,330 --> 00:23:51,070
And doctors like no no no

322
00:23:51,070 --> 00:23:54,330
no no no because he

323
00:23:54,330 --> 00:23:57,230
has epilepsy and is experiencing seizures does

324
00:23:57,230 --> 00:23:59,970
not mean that he's possessed by the devil and again this is

325
00:23:59,970 --> 00:24:05,050
2021 in the united states there are still people that believe that you're possessed

326
00:24:05,050 --> 00:24:11,210
by the devil so frightening but true so i'm just trying to trying to shatter

327
00:24:11,210 --> 00:24:18,010
all those stigmas and and show people that yeah you can you you can still live a great life.

328
00:24:18,130 --> 00:24:21,030
It may not be exactly the life that you planned or that you wanted,

329
00:24:21,150 --> 00:24:24,910
but you can still live a great life.

330
00:24:25,130 --> 00:24:28,750
Yeah, I think a term that comes to mind as you kind of described that is it's

331
00:24:28,750 --> 00:24:33,450
hidden or people don't really know about it. It's invisible disability.

332
00:24:33,890 --> 00:24:37,210
Yeah. Which is something I know a lot about.

333
00:24:37,350 --> 00:24:43,730
There's some things in my story in my life that are unique about me that are mostly invisible.

334
00:24:45,107 --> 00:24:48,787
To anyone that doesn't really know much about me.

335
00:24:48,967 --> 00:24:55,667
And sometimes those things, you know, I can't imagine particularly at your age

336
00:24:55,667 --> 00:25:02,687
of 30 or during the early stages of your diagnosis or journey into epilepsy.

337
00:25:02,887 --> 00:25:05,867
Like you're feeling like this can happen anytime.

338
00:25:06,207 --> 00:25:08,367
You don't know what's going to happen or when it's going to happen.

339
00:25:08,427 --> 00:25:10,487
And a lot of stress around that.

340
00:25:10,487 --> 00:25:14,767
And that happens with, I think, people that have these different disabilities

341
00:25:14,767 --> 00:25:20,207
or abilities that make for some awkward or unique, for sure,

342
00:25:20,227 --> 00:25:21,307
in-person interactions.

343
00:25:22,007 --> 00:25:25,227
And I think the more we talk about those kind of things and de-stigmatize all

344
00:25:25,227 --> 00:25:29,127
of them, people have a better understanding for what goes on there.

345
00:25:29,887 --> 00:25:34,227
Totally. Yeah, your journey with meningitis certainly falls in that category.

346
00:25:35,087 --> 00:25:40,007
Invisible and not many people understand it. okay so how many brain surgeries

347
00:25:40,007 --> 00:25:44,447
was it again three three and only 15 holes.

348
00:25:45,547 --> 00:25:49,987
Right only yeah cool okay yeah

349
00:25:49,987 --> 00:25:54,927
you you do go through a lot of that stuff in the book and it's pretty amazing

350
00:25:54,927 --> 00:26:00,827
i i don't know what that must be like but the book title it's seizing today

351
00:26:00,827 --> 00:26:05,807
i don't know the subtitle i don't have it in front of me do you have do you know when it's

352
00:26:05,847 --> 00:26:10,747
coming out sometime later this year or the summer or what sometime this summer

353
00:26:10,747 --> 00:26:15,307
is the latest that i've heard from my from my publisher so hopefully that that's

354
00:26:15,307 --> 00:26:19,887
okay and for future people listening that would be the summer of 24 in case

355
00:26:19,887 --> 00:26:24,807
you're listening in 2030 or 3015 or whenever that is.

356
00:26:26,767 --> 00:26:31,427
And the subtitle real real fast i can give that to you discovering purpose and

357
00:26:31,427 --> 00:26:33,387
authenticity in a life-changing diagnosis.

358
00:26:34,307 --> 00:26:38,307
Yeah, that's great. Yeah, I can relate to that.

359
00:26:38,527 --> 00:26:42,787
Exactly. Talk a little bit about kind of what that means to you. Yeah, you know...

360
00:26:43,748 --> 00:26:50,608
I always enjoyed the work that I did prior to this.

361
00:26:51,488 --> 00:26:56,348
I felt like I excelled. I did all the things I was supposed to do,

362
00:26:56,768 --> 00:26:58,308
quote unquote supposed to do.

363
00:26:58,648 --> 00:27:03,208
But it just never felt right. And the way I describe it is there was always

364
00:27:03,208 --> 00:27:04,868
sort of friction around it.

365
00:27:04,868 --> 00:27:14,348
And when I finally decided to pivot my career, that's when I started to realize

366
00:27:14,348 --> 00:27:19,608
there are things we can do that are our superpowers.

367
00:27:20,668 --> 00:27:26,008
And that's what I'm doing now with my executive coaching work and facilitation

368
00:27:26,008 --> 00:27:29,148
and speaking and writing.

369
00:27:29,228 --> 00:27:31,648
These are all things that I pinch

370
00:27:31,648 --> 00:27:35,508
myself in the morning that I get to do them. I love the work that I do.

371
00:27:35,948 --> 00:27:40,108
And so that's really what it's about. Like I just feel so much more authentic

372
00:27:40,108 --> 00:27:44,148
and have a, and live a purpose driven life, quite frankly.

373
00:27:44,228 --> 00:27:48,728
Like I, I clearly know what my purpose is and why I was put on this planet.

374
00:27:48,828 --> 00:27:51,908
Like that, I know that sounds maybe a little bit hokey. No, I love it.

375
00:27:51,948 --> 00:27:55,708
Cause I, yeah, I got it. Or, or, or spiritual, but you know,

376
00:27:55,728 --> 00:27:59,308
as my, my editor told me, you're very spiritual, John. I was like,

377
00:27:59,328 --> 00:28:00,708
no, I'm not. He's like, yes, you are.

378
00:28:01,428 --> 00:28:04,748
I've read your book. I've edited your book. You're very spiritual.

379
00:28:04,868 --> 00:28:07,988
I'm like, maybe I need to think about that some more. You're right.

380
00:28:08,768 --> 00:28:15,108
So yeah, I'm just a big believer in we're all put on this planet for some reason or reasons.

381
00:28:15,248 --> 00:28:18,248
And it's up to us to sort of figure out what those reasons are.

382
00:28:18,408 --> 00:28:25,928
And when we do, it just feels right. And so that's kind of, I was able to get there.

383
00:28:26,148 --> 00:28:30,188
Yeah, that's a tremendous feeling. Congratulations on that. That's got to be great.

384
00:28:30,408 --> 00:28:34,748
I'm hoping to get there someday myself and

385
00:28:34,748 --> 00:28:37,588
and reading the book I feel like there's and I might be reading

386
00:28:37,588 --> 00:28:40,368
too much into this here but I feel like there there's a

387
00:28:40,368 --> 00:28:45,808
because it's true for me that there's this amazing connection with your wife

388
00:28:45,808 --> 00:28:50,828
Julia that kind of you know I don't I don't want to put words in your mouth

389
00:28:50,828 --> 00:28:57,168
but I feel like there there was a time you kind of chronicle the Which is a

390
00:28:57,168 --> 00:28:58,948
great meat story that you guys have.

391
00:29:00,728 --> 00:29:02,568
But you're kind of...

392
00:29:04,507 --> 00:29:10,487
Nervous about bringing these things up initially with her and then once it happens,

393
00:29:11,407 --> 00:29:16,667
like it's just great and it all makes sense and i've i've experienced that myself

394
00:29:16,667 --> 00:29:21,447
personally in my life so i can really relate to that and i think i just think

395
00:29:21,447 --> 00:29:26,087
that's incredible yeah i mean i'll i'll never forget just you know it's one

396
00:29:26,087 --> 00:29:29,087
of those things i was worried about it and dating like Like,

397
00:29:29,087 --> 00:29:32,387
how am I going to explain this to someone, right?

398
00:29:33,087 --> 00:29:36,587
And I'll never forget, it was, you know, a lazy Sunday morning.

399
00:29:36,647 --> 00:29:40,927
And she leans over to me and says, tell me a secret.

400
00:29:42,227 --> 00:29:47,427
And, you know, sort of flippantly. And the only thing I hadn't told her was,

401
00:29:47,487 --> 00:29:49,907
you know, that I have epilepsy.

402
00:29:50,047 --> 00:29:53,687
And I just kind of blurted it out. and she just was so

403
00:29:53,687 --> 00:29:57,727
incredibly understanding and supportive and curious and

404
00:29:57,727 --> 00:30:00,807
all the things that i needed and you know

405
00:30:00,807 --> 00:30:04,487
nothing has changed ever since she's just as she's

406
00:30:04,487 --> 00:30:07,407
incredible wouldn't be able to get through all this with without

407
00:30:07,407 --> 00:30:10,267
her so i i don't know how i tricked her into marrying

408
00:30:10,267 --> 00:30:13,247
me i can relate to that too yeah

409
00:30:13,247 --> 00:30:16,187
i definitely married up my my

410
00:30:16,187 --> 00:30:18,967
game and she made you a girl dad which is

411
00:30:18,967 --> 00:30:21,707
awesome i'm a girl dad too so you know

412
00:30:21,707 --> 00:30:24,427
that's i mean i don't know that i

413
00:30:24,427 --> 00:30:27,487
recommend it for everyone but it's certainly

414
00:30:27,487 --> 00:30:31,047
a a fun way to do it it's it's great it

415
00:30:31,047 --> 00:30:33,987
is it is and you know one thing i i you know

416
00:30:33,987 --> 00:30:37,687
i put this in the book and i say this anytime i can but i never

417
00:30:37,687 --> 00:30:40,947
i never imagined that i could love my kids as

418
00:30:40,947 --> 00:30:43,627
much as i do like it just it's sort

419
00:30:43,627 --> 00:30:47,927
of mind-blowing when i I when I'm with them you know you you love your spouse

420
00:30:47,927 --> 00:30:52,147
and your friends and your family a certain way but your kids it's just it's

421
00:30:52,147 --> 00:30:56,347
a totally different kind of love yeah and it really catches the other blue once

422
00:30:56,347 --> 00:31:02,227
I mean when it happens it just happens I can remember when that started yeah and it's great.

423
00:31:03,301 --> 00:31:07,561
Back to music real quick, if I can, since you made me think of this.

424
00:31:07,961 --> 00:31:15,221
Another one of my favorite bands is Chris Stapleton. And he has a song called Joy of My Life.

425
00:31:15,801 --> 00:31:18,841
The words to it are incredible. But I said to my older daughter,

426
00:31:19,161 --> 00:31:21,901
why don't we dance to this song together at your wedding?

427
00:31:23,301 --> 00:31:28,061
She's like, Daddy, that's not my favorite one. How about starting over?

428
00:31:29,321 --> 00:31:32,661
Okay. As long as it's Chris Stapleton, I'm good. Yeah, that's pretty amazing.

429
00:31:32,761 --> 00:31:35,941
I'd get that in writing or take a video of that just so you have documented

430
00:31:35,941 --> 00:31:37,321
proof that that's what it's going to be.

431
00:31:37,501 --> 00:31:41,661
But, yeah, man, I don't know. I don't want to think about a wedding, though. Oh, my gosh.

432
00:31:42,441 --> 00:31:47,041
Oh, man. A little far away. Yeah, I hope it's always real far away, actually.

433
00:31:47,301 --> 00:31:50,661
But I feel like it's going to be here before we know it. So, gosh.

434
00:31:51,741 --> 00:31:56,381
Probably. All right. Okay, so epilepsy mostly controlled now?

435
00:31:56,481 --> 00:31:59,501
All the surgeries and things?

436
00:32:00,041 --> 00:32:05,541
Where are we today with it? Yes, the third of the three surgeries was about two and a half years ago.

437
00:32:05,641 --> 00:32:09,801
And other than one episode, I've been seizure free.

438
00:32:09,981 --> 00:32:13,601
And the only reason for that episode was I, it's a long story,

439
00:32:13,701 --> 00:32:14,981
but forgot to take my medication.

440
00:32:15,441 --> 00:32:20,381
So since I've been on medication, have been seizure free since that third surgery.

441
00:32:20,521 --> 00:32:22,761
So that's a huge, huge win.

442
00:32:23,081 --> 00:32:26,321
At one point I thought, hopefully I won't

443
00:32:26,321 --> 00:32:29,981
ever have to be on medication because anti-seizure medication

444
00:32:29,981 --> 00:32:33,161
doesn't have the most fun side effects but in

445
00:32:33,161 --> 00:32:36,921
talking to my neurologist uh it's very rare that people

446
00:32:36,921 --> 00:32:42,901
would go off medication entirely we've we've titrated down a little bit on one

447
00:32:42,901 --> 00:32:47,081
of the two medications that i'm on which is helpful but anyway to answer your

448
00:32:47,081 --> 00:32:51,681
question yeah i'm doing great i really am and and there'll be advancements in

449
00:32:51,681 --> 00:32:56,281
the future that that will improve that hopefully I know you do a lot of work.

450
00:32:56,801 --> 00:33:02,381
You mentioned a group you're with. Is it Epilepsy Foundation or something? Yeah.

451
00:33:03,625 --> 00:33:09,385
Yeah, so I do work with a couple. So there's the Epilepsy Foundation of America,

452
00:33:09,545 --> 00:33:13,945
and that's the group that I got involved with pretty much right after my diagnosis.

453
00:33:14,485 --> 00:33:19,085
And then more recently, I've been done a fair amount with CURE Epilepsy,

454
00:33:19,245 --> 00:33:22,685
which is an acronym that stands for Citizens United for Research in Epilepsy.

455
00:33:22,845 --> 00:33:30,205
I was founded 20 some odd years ago by Susan Axelrod, who also happened to write the foreword to my book.

456
00:33:30,305 --> 00:33:34,125
And I'm so thrilled and touched that she agreed to do that.

457
00:33:34,185 --> 00:33:37,885
And I finally actually got to meet her in person last weekend in Chicago at

458
00:33:37,885 --> 00:33:40,565
their annual gala. And that was quite a thrill.

459
00:33:40,705 --> 00:33:46,385
So yeah, I really, giving back to the community has always been an important

460
00:33:46,385 --> 00:33:52,025
value that was instilled in me for my family and continues to be really important.

461
00:33:52,725 --> 00:33:55,825
Awesome. All right, John. So the book is forthcoming.

462
00:33:56,645 --> 00:34:00,945
Where's the best place to find you and or the book or things about that out there in the world.

463
00:34:01,145 --> 00:34:07,145
Yeah. So by the time this is published, johntutor.com should be live.

464
00:34:07,305 --> 00:34:13,005
And that's a place where you can order the book, learn about what I do, etc.

465
00:34:13,305 --> 00:34:17,965
But certainly, you'll be able to buy the book on the typical places,

466
00:34:18,065 --> 00:34:21,905
Amazon, barnesandnoble.com, all those kinds of places.

467
00:34:22,425 --> 00:34:26,725
But johntutor.com should be the easiest place to get ahold of me.

468
00:34:26,725 --> 00:34:29,305
Also, my LinkedIn handle is Jonathan-Tudor.

469
00:34:30,145 --> 00:34:35,865
Posting there pretty regularly about my journey, my story, the pictures and

470
00:34:35,865 --> 00:34:40,725
images from the different post surgeries that are kind of shocking and striking.

471
00:34:41,125 --> 00:34:44,405
So that's another good place. I also post to Facebook. I am not,

472
00:34:44,445 --> 00:34:48,605
unfortunately, not an Instagram person, although I know I probably need to be

473
00:34:48,605 --> 00:34:52,845
or should be, but primarily Facebook and LinkedIn are where I am from a social standpoint.

474
00:34:53,385 --> 00:34:56,365
All right. We'll link to those down in the show notes too, Jonathan.

475
00:34:56,865 --> 00:35:00,345
Or John, I don't know which one to call you now, but it's been a lot.

476
00:35:00,385 --> 00:35:04,205
It's great to connect with you here and looking forward to the release of the

477
00:35:04,205 --> 00:35:06,685
book. Likewise. Thanks, John. Really appreciate it.

478
00:35:09,585 --> 00:35:12,745
Thanks so much for spending your time with the Destiny is Debatable podcast.

479
00:35:13,545 --> 00:35:17,525
Please rate and write a review wherever you subscribe. It really does help us

480
00:35:17,525 --> 00:35:18,725
grow and reach new people.

481
00:35:19,465 --> 00:35:22,945
For more information, visit johnbgrimes.com.

482
00:35:24,865 --> 00:35:27,205
Destiny is debatable is a production.

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00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:35,125
Music.